My sons and I were discussing the care Jesus had about the scraps left over after He fed the multitude. My middle son brought it up saying - 

 “It always strikes me as odd that gathering the leftovers after feeding the multitudes is mentioned so prominently. It's like Jesus doesn't want it to be mis-handled.

I said – “Picking up the leftovers always reminds me of the Gentile woman that sought healing for her daughter, and she was more than happy to have crumbs that fell under the table. 

There are times I feel like it's all I have to offer, crumbs. 

I get in situations that are way over my head, and yet, 

Amazingly, I see a crumb nourish some poor trembling soul. 

It happened last night at the jail, when a girl of 25, 

with problems that completely overwhelm her, 

so much so she has NEVER shared anything about her past, 

it is just too painful.

 But last night, she lingered and was the last to leave the meeting, 

she stopped to chat with me for a minute. 

She knows I care about her; I have lavished the affection of Christ on her whenever I have the opportunity. 

And last night, for the first time, she shared some of her struggles and bits of her past. 

It may not seem like much, but to me it was like seeing Lazarus coming out of the tomb, still bound hand and foot with death robes, but he was upright!

This photo isn't her, but it looks a lot like her.

Little Heart and Big Water Bottles

A brief encounter at the Crisis Shelter

“I saw her with a water bottle that was half her size, 

she could barely hold it and take swigs, 

as it jostled in her little hands. 

Its size seemed intentional, like someone prepared for a long and thirsty journey.

We caught each other’s eyes.

Her mother was standing with another child in her arms, surrounded by a gaggle of other siblings. 

They were weaving in and around her as they all stood waiting for the evening details at the Crisis Shelter to fall into place.

There was a look in the mother’s face that I’ve seen many times, an overwhelmed, but determined stability, 

as she tries to hold life all together. 

The world is careening out of any sort of calm and safe orbit 

and they are being thrown into unfamiliar places and faces. 

It’s a managed terror, 

a courageous caution, 

mixed with fragile determination. 

A strong and fierce countenance, 

with slightly trembling lips.

I approach the mama Deer and her little Fawns gently, purposefully with distracting playfulness with the little water girl. 

Jokes and light banter to break the tension and the awkward energy in the moment.

I have learned the easiest way to gently approach a nervous and protective heart of a mother is kindness to her kids. 

Engaging her children is a gift of distraction from all the unknown, it’s a relief to the anxiety of first entries and skittish hearts and minds.

The little girl asks me if I can “Touch the roof.”

I do so.

She says “Do it again.”

I do so.

“How old are you?” she asks.

I tell her.

“What is your name?”

Do you live here?

Her list of questions is Homeric:

I am being analyzed by a little heart and mind, sized up, examined and lightly touched from a distance. 

I’m reminded of the Deer that I live among, curious, but so quick to leap away in the blink of an eye at the slightest twitch of danger.

I want to stay; she wants me to stay…

but the night has structure and steps and our meeting ends, 

but her face lingers in my mind and heart as I pray her name.

“Lord, bless this young girl and her siblings with peace tonight, a safe and warm bed, full tummies, fresh and clean clothes. 

Uphold them through all the loving and helpful people present to serve them. 

Hold Mom’s heart in your hands,

allow her to rest from all that hunts and haunts her. 

Meet them in the grace and goodness of all the care and counsel that is available under the roof of the UGM Shelter for Women and Children.” In Jesus name, amen.”

Pastor Eric

 ""If when reading my Bible, I find that the Epistles are gaining a commanding influence upon my mind, I must at once set out to explore the prophets.

If I find some special phase of truth powerfully attracting me, I must not shun it, but neither must I neglect the other aspects of truth.

“The Lord has yet more truth to break from out His Word!” said John Robinson; and I must earnestly seek to find it.

Now, Mr. Goodman is a splendid fellow;

but he fell in love with one lonely little truth,

and now he never thinks, reads, or preaches of any other.

It would be his salvation, and the salvation of his people,

if he would venture forth to climb the peaks that hold no attraction for him.

He would discover, when at last he stood upon their sunlit summits,

that they too are part of God’s great and glorious world."

This is such a practical and important truth, especially for new Christians or for those who have heard little beyond what their pastor or denomination teaches.

 Why have children? 

There are certainly many reasons, but I think most of us remember the pure joy and thrill of what these little ones brought  to our lives. 

Here are the best descriptions I've read so far -- 

"It is interesting to observe how the Creator, having first subjected the child to parental and family influences, 

has even then provided for its growing freedom by inspiring it with –

overflowing animation, 

inexpressible joy, 

impatience of limits, 

thirst for novelty, 

delight in adventure, 

and ardent imagination. 

Jeremy Tayor said it this way – 

"No man can tell but he that loves his children, 

how many delicious accents make a man's heart dance in the pretty conversations of those dear pledges; 

their childishness, 

their stammering’s, 

their little angers, 

their innocence, 

their imperfections, 

their necessities, 

are so many little emanations of joy and comfort to him that delights in their persons and society.” 

“We take shelter in children to escape oblivion. 

We ask the child to drag around the unwieldy weight of magic. 

To clap wildly. 

To believe in what we believe in no longer. 

We ask the child to keep the awe we forgot how to hold. 

The fairy isn’t the fairy. It’s the child who is the fairy. 

It’s the child who is enchanted!”

If one could bottle and sell these feelings, he would be the richest man alive! 

 "No human being exists whose character can be presented as a perfect model.

No process is so destructive as one that would force all people into the same mold.

Every human being is meant to have a character of his or her own,

to be what no other person is,

and to do what no other person can do.

Our common nature is meant to unfold in limitless diversity.

It is rich enough for infinite expressions.

It is meant to take on countless forms of beauty and greatness.

Every human being has an inner work to carry out,

duties to perform in the world,

and influences to exert that are uniquely his or hers,

and which no conscience but their own can reveal.

Let no one, then, surrender his or her conscience to others,

but act with the freedom, strength, and dignity of one whose highest law, written within by the hand of God, is obeyed in faith." William Ellery Channing. 

 "Perhaps this is one of the greatest hidden sacrifices -

Love continually interrupts us.

Nearly every meaningful relationship requires a continual dying to self.

Most of these sacrifices are small enough that they scarcely feel heroic,

yet they are often the very things through which Christ is formed in us.

As one writer observed, the great test of Christian love is not whether we would die for our brethren,

but whether we can patiently live with them.

The person who

talks too long,

arrives late,

asks for help at an inconvenient moment,

or sees things differently from us becomes an opportunity to practice the kind of love that "does not seek its own."

These little sacrifices are the hidden currency of every

healthy church,

family,

and friendship.

They are often unnoticed by men, but never by God.

"Through love serve one another" (Galatians 5:13).

The service is usually found in the small things."

"Don't mistake feeling emotional about a story for genuinely caring for people. 

True compassion is measured by what we do for ordinary people who suffer in real life."

Or even more simply:

"It's easy to feel sorry for fictional characters. The real test of compassion is whether we care for ordinary people whose suffering isn't dramatic or beautiful."

That final sentence is really the heart of the passage. He's warning that our imagination can give us the feeling of being compassionate, while real charity requires us to notice and help those whose misery is plain, unattractive, and close at hand.

*Trigger Warning *

Help for healing from child abuse, 

sexual assault, and other traumatic circumstances. 

Here are the best resources I've found for survivors of complex trauma. 

Diane Langberg. She's a licensed Christian Psychologist that has worked with victims of PTSD and Complex Trauma from child abuse for over forty years, she knows her stuff. 

She has many videos on You Tube but I'll list the two I think are best to start with. 

"Complex Trauma: Understanding and Treatment - Diane Langberg"

and the second is under 

"The Spiritual Impact of Sexual Abuse and Other Trauma - Diane Langberg"

Then the book "Mending the Soul" by Steven Tracy is the best I know of. 

Judith Herman's book, "Trauma and Recovery " is the one of the most respected in the field.

Also for recovery from substance abuse the 

"Genesis Process, for change groups Book 1 and 2 individual workbook" 

These books are used in recovery programs all over the world. They can be purchased online used inexpensively. 

I'd start with Diane Langberg, She is a well-known and well-loved Christian counselor and speaker who trains other counselors and has a heart for Christ like few you'll ever meet. 

I recommend you follow Ann Stewart Porter, a Christian all of her sixty some years, and she has gone through more than any person I know, 

her second child was born without sight, hearing or ability to talk, was medically fragile and was in the infant stage her entire 25 years of life cared for and loved by Ann and her husband Dan. 

She's also a Christian counselor, missionary, has 4 published books and posts daily online. I consider her a mentor. 

I'll add Kelsey Decker, she was groomed and held in cults, forced into prostitution until she was about forty; she's a firebrand for Christ now, words fail to exaggerate! 

She has a FaceBook site and YouTube site, videos and books.

SAVED BY GRACE - FOR WHAT??

I can't imagine how dwarfed my Christian walk would be if I weren't influenced by the great Christian divines that understood the ministry of Christ so clearly.

Does the following message ring out clearly in your church?

"The third Person of the Holy Trinity is known to us by the name and dignity of the Holy Ghost, the Comforter.

God Himself glories in this name:

He is the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.

Therefore, to serve in the work of comforting others is to become like God and to imitate the charity and compassion of heaven.

God has fitted us for this work.

We need comfort ourselves, and through our own experience we can understand the needs of our brothers and sisters.

God has also given us the gift of speech.

Therefore, after using our tongues to praise Him,

there is perhaps no greater purpose for which He made them

than to bring comfort to a weary soul.

And what greater privilege can there be than to bring joy and gladness to someone who, with weary and sorrowful eyes, looks toward heaven and all around him but cannot find enough rest even to close his eyes?

What greater privilege than for your tongue to speak with heavenly words, causing that weary soul to listen for the possibility of light and relief?

And when that person begins to realize that comfort and joy still exist in this world

and that there is a place for them in the order of things,

he may begin to break out of the prison of his sorrow.

At first, it may be through sighs and tears;

but little by little, his sorrow may melt into tears of relief, refreshment,

and renewed hope.

This is glory for your voice,

and an employment worthy of the brightest Angel.

God is pleased with no music from this earth as much as with

the thanksgiving song

of relieved widows,

supported orphans,

and people who are rejoicing, comforted, and grateful."

Jeremy Taylor - 1600s.

“The blessing of the one who was about to perish came upon me, And I made the widow’s heart sing for joy." 

Job 29:13

Ann Stewart Porter, a friend of mine I met online, and someone I truly consider one of my valued mentors, was sharing the following on her site, –

“I decided this year to write out the Bible in leather journals. I’m in The Letters now.

It’s amazing the different perspectives it gives, things you see you didn’t when just read. Highly recommend!”

One of the sisters, as amazed as I was, commented,

“Wow! What a labor of love!”

Ann responded –

“It’s really been a good thing to do.

I try to change up the way I do my quiet time to keep our relationship exciting and growing for me.

One year I might read the Bible backwards.

One year, start NT then OT. I have read it 6 times in one year.

I have studied and not completed it in a year.

I might study characters or a certain theology I want to particularly learn well.

I might start with the Prophets hardest to read first.

This year and probably next I may be writing it out. Course I’m also leaving time to study certain things that stand out to me.

Although it’s more than I counted on! But I love it!”

We all need mentors in our lives, at nearly 80

I have many. 

 

"Some of us come into the world with no other interest in the affairs of the world than that we made our parents a little glad, and very sorrowful.

Some come into the world and live a few years like a bubble, empty and gay, shining like a dove’s neck or the image of a rainbow—without substance, its colors are imaginary;

and so he dances out the gaiety of his youth, all the while in a storm,

enduring only because he is not knocked on the head

or crushed beneath the pressure of a load of indigested meat." Jeremy Taylor. 

Meaning -

Some lives seem to pass in a whirl of brief pleasure and outward brightness, bringing some joy, but mostly sorrow to those who love them,

while beneath the laughter they struggle through storms they scarcely understand—

surviving more by chance than wisdom.

"There is in most of us a fiber of self-will,

of hardness,

of stubbornness which we cannot break,

but which God may be trusted to break for us,

if we desire it to be broken.

If the light is clouded, and the joy is blotted out, and the energy burns low,

it is not a sign that we have failed,

but that the mind of God is bent still more urgently upon us.

What we may pray for and desire is courage,

to live eagerly in joy

and not less eagerly in sorrow;

to be self-controlled in happiness

and courageous in trouble." John Ruskin.