Little Heart and Big Water Bottles

A brief encounter at the Crisis Shelter

“I saw her with a water bottle that was half her size, 

she could barely hold it and take swigs, 

as it jostled in her little hands. 

Its size seemed intentional, like someone prepared for a long and thirsty journey.

We caught each other’s eyes.

Her mother was standing with another child in her arms, surrounded by a gaggle of other siblings. 

They were weaving in and around her as they all stood waiting for the evening details at the Crisis Shelter to fall into place.

There was a look in the mother’s face that I’ve seen many times, an overwhelmed, but determined stability, 

as she tries to hold life all together. 

The world is careening out of any sort of calm and safe orbit 

and they are being thrown into unfamiliar places and faces. 

It’s a managed terror, 

a courageous caution, 

mixed with fragile determination. 

A strong and fierce countenance, 

with slightly trembling lips.

I approach the mama Deer and her little Fawns gently, purposefully with distracting playfulness with the little water girl. 

Jokes and light banter to break the tension and the awkward energy in the moment.

I have learned the easiest way to gently approach a nervous and protective heart of a mother is kindness to her kids. 

Engaging her children is a gift of distraction from all the unknown, it’s a relief to the anxiety of first entries and skittish hearts and minds.

The little girl asks me if I can “Touch the roof.”

I do so.

She says “Do it again.”

I do so.

“How old are you?” she asks.

I tell her.

“What is your name?”

Do you live here?

Her list of questions is Homeric:

I am being analyzed by a little heart and mind, sized up, examined and lightly touched from a distance. 

I’m reminded of the Deer that I live among, curious, but so quick to leap away in the blink of an eye at the slightest twitch of danger.

I want to stay; she wants me to stay…

but the night has structure and steps and our meeting ends, 

but her face lingers in my mind and heart as I pray her name.

“Lord, bless this young girl and her siblings with peace tonight, a safe and warm bed, full tummies, fresh and clean clothes. 

Uphold them through all the loving and helpful people present to serve them. 

Hold Mom’s heart in your hands,

allow her to rest from all that hunts and haunts her. 

Meet them in the grace and goodness of all the care and counsel that is available under the roof of the UGM Shelter for Women and Children.” In Jesus name, amen.”

Pastor Eric