Last night was ladies night at the jail; I was anticipating something special from the Lord because I've been reading the inspiring and stirring book called, "The Strip Club Chronicles" by Kelsey Decker. 

Although our ministries are in different locations, hers in the strip clubs, red light districts and wherever women are exploited, it is much the same; so I was inspired and hoped something deeply spiritual would happen. We meet in a small room on the main floor,  tucked away in a corner, it's my inner sanctum, that special place where Jesus sheds His love lavishly on the souls of the women I meet there, as well as my own. 

Five women came and I've met four of them before. The new person was a late teen girl wearing a hooded puffer jacket, zipped up to her chin revealing only her round little ebony face. She's the youngest girl in this part of the jail, so I expected her to be shy and withdrawn, but to my surprise she lit the room with her broad sun-bright smile.   Let's call her Tia. She wasn't a Christian, but was in love with a boy  whose father was a Pastor and was exposed to some Biblical themes there. 

She was eager to hear and, eager to talk. She began telling her story when we were interrupted by a guard who called her away: I know not why. I was a little disappointed but continued on with the other four women. About 15 minutes later she returned and was eager to tell her story, but we were right in the middle of a study so I asked if she could share it at the end? She happily agreed and said she could stay late, so we finished up and the other four ladies left us alone. Of course in the jail you are never alone, you're always under camera view. 

The Lord's presence envelops the room with feelings of safety, trust and acceptance; so she soon revealed that she was pregnant by her lover, but, in her despair, confusion, fear and poverty, decided to abort the child, and did so without the father's knowledge. This led to a break-up and now she sat weeping for the loss of her child and her lover. 

So here I sat, in front of this broken young girl fighting tears of deep grief: surely Christ's words encapsulated this moment -- 

"The Spirit of the Lord, the Eternal, is on me.

    The Lord has appointed me for a special purpose.

He has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.

    He has sent me to repair broken hearts,

And to declare to those who are held captive and bound in prison..."

We spent the next hour together, wrapt in the Lord's embrace, as I reached for every heavenly word I could find, shared every verse and gave her all the resource material I had. 

She was my daughter that night, truly, these are the riches in Christ. 

 "When I turned 65 a few years back, I sat in my favorite chair, looked back over my life, and thought to myself,

“So… this is the beginning of the final stretch.”

And slowly, the truths I had ignored for years began to rise to the surface—quiet, firm, impossible to dismiss.

Children?

They’re busy writing their own stories.

Health?

It slips away faster than sand through open fingers.

The world and its systems?

Headlines, promises, and numbers that rarely change real life.

Aging doesn’t wound the body first.

It strips away illusions.

So I sat with myself—and with the Lord—and carved out a handful of honest, necessary truths about how to live the rest of my days with purpose, dignity, and peace.

⸻

Children don’t save you from loneliness

Children are a blessing—but they are not meant to be your identity or your safety net.

They grow. Life pulls them in every direction. One day you realize you’re a cherished chapter in their story, not the center of it.

You love them deeply…

and yet something inside still feels quiet and hollow.

Only God was ever meant to fill that space.

⸻

Health is not guaranteed

One day, the activities you once jumped into with enthusiasm feel heavy.

You realize health was never a background character—

it was the pillar holding everything else upright.

Your body is not just something you live in.

It is something you steward.

And stewardship matters to the Lord.

⸻

Retirement is not a reward—it’s a reality check

Depending on systems alone is like standing on thin ice.

Bills grow.

Needs grow.

Prices grow.

Faith does not mean irresponsibility.

Wisdom means preparing while you can.

Provision is part of stewardship.

⸻

So I rebuilt my life around new rules—

honest, practical rules for finishing well.

⸻

Rule 1: Be wise with money, but trust the Lord—not wealth

Love your children.

Bless them.

Pray for them.

But don’t make them your retirement plan.

Save what you can.

Plan wisely.

Give generously.

Financial independence preserves dignity—but faith reminds us where true security comes from.

⸻

Rule 2: Your health is part of your calling. Work to strengthen yourself to remain independent as long as possible

If your body refuses to cooperate, everything else becomes harder.

Move.

Walk.

Stretch.

Sleep.

Eat cleaner.

Reduce what slowly poisons the body.

You don’t do this out of vanity—

you do it so you can keep serving, loving, and showing up.

Your body is a vessel.

Honor it.

⸻

Rule 3: Create joy—and root it in gratitude

Waiting for others to make you happy leads to disappointment.

So you learn to notice the gifts:

A quiet morning.

A warm cup of coffee.

Scripture that settles the soul.

Music that lifts the spirit.

When your joy comes from the Lord, loneliness loses its grip.

⸻

Rule 4: Aging is not permission to give up

Some people turn aging into a habit of complaints.

Over time, even those who love them drift away.

Strength is attractive.

Resilience is inspiring.

Capability honors God.

Exercise. Stay engaged. Stay useful.

⸻

Rule 5: Release the past

The good old days were beautiful—but they are gone.

Clinging to them steals today.

God is not finished creating moments worth living.

There is still purpose here.

⸻

Rule 6: Guard your peace fiercely

Not every argument needs your voice.

Not every opinion needs your energy.

Not every relationship deserves access to your heart.

Peace is precious.

Protect it—from drama, bitterness, and emotional chaos.

Peace makes room for the Lord’s presence.

⸻

Rule 7: Keep learning, growing, and serving

The day you stop learning is the day you start shrinking.

Learn something new.

Try something different.

Move your mind and body.

Growth honors God.

Stagnation dulls the spirit.

⸻

You are still here for a reason

Aging is an exam no one can take for you.

You can adapt.

You can rebuild.

You can rise—with faith, wisdom, and strength.

And if no one comes to rescue you…

Stand up anyway.

Lean on the Lord.

Steward what you’ve been given.

Serve with what you still have.

Because you still can.

And that truth—anchored in faith—is enough to transform the rest of your life." ❤️

Kathy Goff.

 My experiences ministering at the jail are so vast, so strange at times, as well as sorrowful, I doubt I can put words to my thoughts today. 

A young woman, 20? Has attended my Bible study, and it's the first Bible study she's ever been too. What a privilege for me!!! She is thin, petite, timid on the outside, always walks with her head down, her conversations are fragmented, she speaks with little more than a whisper, but when she does talk, she has no filter and just spills her thoughts out with no restraint. But surprisingly, she is very bright and her thoughts and questions always amaze me. 

She is cute, but seems to go to great links to hide it. She's shaved her head and her eyebrows, why, I have no idea? I've yet to learn her story, but in the years I've spent with men and women in jail, I know her past is harsh, dark, and whelming.

But this little person has captured this near eighty year old heart. And it appears there's something the Lord has done to give her a fondness for me. What a joy, how gratifying! 

I saw her last night and she said she had a note for me. Huh? That's interesting, I couldn't wait to read it. As I began trying to decipher it, I had to smile because I don't think I've ever read a note that so clearly illustrated the author! I wish she wrote it in darker letters, but, like I said, she speaks in a whisper. 

But within that whisper are these sweeping, bold and artistic letters, along with almost illegible thoughts and curious ramblings, again, illustrating her personality to a T! I had to read it over and over to come to the conclusion she was saying she enjoys the meetings, and when she is released she would like to hear me again and she wondered if I spoke at the women's shelter I recommended for her. I don't, but I think I'll ask her to friend me on FaceBook so we can continue to chat. 99% of the time, inmates never follow through, but I hope she does......

Here's her letter -- 

 

 

Okay, I need your theological minds, here is a passage on “True faith.”  

Is it? 

“True religion is NOT something we accept merely because an authority tells us to. 

It must be something we personally see as true and good through our own awakened conscience and moral insight. Otherwise, our obedience is empty imitation, not genuine faith. 

Jesus appeals to the “pure heart” and the awakened conscience in each person. 

If we follow religious rules only because they are imposed, certified, or stamped with authority, then our obedience is not truly moral or spiritual.

A rule that does not prove itself inwardly as holy, good, and binding on the conscience cannot really command the soul. If a rule is accepted only because:

• “God said so,”

• “The Church says so,”

• “This book says so,”

…but we do not inwardly see it as right, holy, and binding, then:

• it is not truly a moral rule,

• it becomes only a policy, a strategy, or a self-interested calculation,

• and our obedience is only mimetic (imitative), not ethical.

We are copying behavior, not responding from conscience.

If Christ alone could truly see moral and spiritual truth, and everyone else was blind, then Christianity would become absurd — like teaching blind people to imitate the movements of someone who can see. 

That would turn religion into:

• external mimicry,

• empty performance,

• “posture-making of the soul,”

not genuine spiritual life.

Every person must have some direct capacity to recognize truth and goodness — otherwise religion collapses into hypocrisy and meaningless ritual.

Jesus did not come to replace human conscience, but to awaken and guide it.

Religious truth must be inwardly recognizable as good, holy, and binding — or it is not truly religious.

Obedience without inward moral vision is not virtue, but imitation.

A faith that only one person can truly “see” is no faith at all — it reduces everyone else to puppets.

Therefore, Christianity appeals to what is deepest and clearest in the human soul — conscience, moral insight, and the love of goodness itself.

True Christianity must be personally seen and recognized as good and authoritative by the conscience of each believer; otherwise, it becomes 

empty imitation, 

blind obedience, 

and spiritual hypocrisy 

rather than living faith.

Obedience that is not grounded in inner conviction is not moral obedience at all — it’s imitation.

So if someone follows a religious rule 

only because it’s said to be authoritative, 

without ever grasping its moral worth, 

that person is spiritually impoverished — even if their behavior looks pious. 

Genuine religious faith must be personally recognized by conscience and moral insight, rather than accepted purely on the basis of authority or tradition.”

What do you think? 

 Do you remember where Jesus said - "The light of the body is the eye?" 

That's in Matt. 6:22-23 That passage has always been unclear to me, especially where He says, "If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" 

How can light be darkness? What a paradox? 

I was reading Martineau's commentary on this, and he explained it like I've never heard before. His writing is antiquated so I ran it through ChatGPT for an interpretation. This is the result -- 

"This passage is saying:

To live in spiritual or moral darkness is not merely to lack truth, but to live inside a false reality that your own mind actively constructs — a reality in which the good looks evil, 

the simple looks threatening, 

the innocent looks corrupt, 

and the beautiful looks trivial or false.

The tragedy is not that such a person sees nothing —

it is that they see wrongly, 

and cannot tell that they are seeing wrongly.

So the darkness is “great” because:

• it is internal,

• it is self-reinforcing,

• it feels convincing,

• and it replaces reality rather than merely obscuring it.

In short:

Darkness does not just blind — it hallucinates.

And when the soul lives by those hallucinations, 

it becomes estranged from truth, 

from others, 

and from itself.

That is what makes “that darkness” so great."

I love that, and I think it's sooo true! If you want to read more, I'll include what Martineau said, and all that Chat said. 

James Martinuea’s commentary really shed light on this statement; although hard to understand; He said - 

 “Great indeed is that darkness!! 

Because it not only hides realities, 

but produces all kinds of deceptive unrealities; 

to the blinding character of all darkness, 

adding the creative activity of light; 

suppressing the clear outline and benign face of things, and throwing up instead their twisted and malignant shadows.” 

I had a sense of what he meant but I asked ChatGPT to interpret it, this is what it said -- 

 

1. “If you live in darkness, how great is that darkness?”

This echoes Jesus’ saying in Matthew 6:23 — “If the light in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

The “darkness” here is not ignorance alone, but a condition of the inner life: a person’s moral, spiritual, and perceptual world.

It means:

When someone’s inner guide (conscience, truth, love, humility) is corrupted or absent, then the very faculty meant to see truth is what distorts it.

So the darkness is “great” not because it is dramatic, but because it is internal, pervasive, and unnoticed by the one who has it.

 

2. “Because it not only hides realities…”

Darkness normally conceals things.

But this passage says it does something worse:

It doesn’t just hide truth — it replaces truth.

So the person in darkness doesn’t merely miss reality — they live inside a false version of it.

 

3. “…but produces all kinds of deceptive unrealities”

This is the key idea.

The mind in darkness becomes productive, not passive:

• It invents explanations that justify itself.

• It projects motives onto others that are not there.

• It interprets events through fear, pride, resentment, or self-interest.

So instead of seeing the world as it is, the person sees:

• Enemies where there are none,

• Threats where there is safety,

• Corruption where there is innocence,

• Or virtue where there is actually vice.

This is why the darkness is dangerous — it becomes self-confirming.

 

4. “…to the blinding character of all darkness, adding the creative activity of light”

This is a paradoxical and very subtle line.

Light is normally creative — it reveals, gives form, brings clarity.

But here, the darkness borrows the power of light and uses it wrongly.

Meaning:

The mind still thinks, imagines, reasons, and creates — but it does so under false premises.

So the person is not empty or dull — they may be very articulate, very convinced, very emotionally vivid — but the whole creative faculty is misaligned.

That makes the deception richer, more persuasive, and harder to escape.

 

5. “Suppressing the clear outline and benign face of things…”

Reality, in its true form, is described as:

• having a “clear outline” (truth is coherent),

• having a “benign face” (reality is not fundamentally hostile).

Darkness suppresses both:

• It blurs clarity.

• It makes the world seem harsher, more cruel, more threatening than it is.

So instead of a world that is structured, meaningful, and ultimately good, the person sees a world that is chaotic, hostile, and ugly.

 

6. “…and throwing up instead their twisted and malignant shadows.”

Shadows are distortions of real things.

So what the person sees are:

• exaggerations,

• caricatures,

• warped reflections.

People become villains, motives become sinister, events become conspiracies, and suffering becomes meaningless cruelty rather than something that can be redemptive.

So the mind lives in a shadow-world, not a world of solid things.

An Encouraging Word To Anyone Who Has Fallen Into Sin

“And I'm not speaking of those who have committed small sins, 

but suppose the case of one who is filled full of all wickedness, and let him practice everything which excludes him from the kingdom,

and let us suppose that this man is not one of those who were unbelievers from the beginning, but formerly belonged to the believers, and such as were well pleasing to God,

but afterwards has become a fornicator, adulterer, effeminate, a thief, a drunkard, a sodomite, a reviler, and everything else of this kind;

I will not approve even of this man despairing of himself, although he may have gone on to extreme old age in the practice of this great and unspeakable wickedness.

For if the wrath of God were a passion, one might well despair as being unable to quench the flame which he had kindled by so many evil doings;

but since the Divine nature is passionless, 

even if He punishes, even if He takes vengeance, 

he does this not with wrath,

but with tender care, and much loving-kindness; 

wherefore it behooves us to be of much good courage, 

and to trust in the power of repentance.

For even those who have sinned against Him 

He is not wont to visit with punishment for His own sake;

for no harm can traverse that divine nature; 

but He acts with a view to our advantage,

and to prevent our perverseness becoming worse 

by our making a practice of despising and neglecting Him.

For even as one who places himself outside the light inflicts no loss on the light,

but the greatest upon himself being shut up in darkness; 

even so, he who has become accustomed to despise that almighty power, does no injury to the power, 

but inflicts the greatest possible injury upon himself.

And for this reason God threatens us with punishments, 

and often inflicts them, not as avenging Himself, 

but by way of attracting us to Himself.

For even a physician is not distressed or vexed at the insults of those who are out of their minds,

but yet does and contrives everything for the purpose of stopping those who do such unseemly acts, 

not looking to his own interests but to their profit;

and if they manifest some small degree of self-control and sobriety he rejoices and is glad, 

and applies his remedies much more earnestly,

not as revenging himself upon them for their former conduct, but as wishing to increase their advantage, and to bring them back to a purely sound state of health.

Even so God when we fall into the very extremity of madness, says and does everything, not by way of avenging Himself on account of our former deeds; but because He wishes to release us from our disorder; 

and by means of right reason it is quite possible to be convinced of this.” 

St. John Chrysostom.

This is not a "once saved always saved" quote, 

but a revealing of the heart of a pure and loving Heavenly Father, who loves us more than we love our own children. 

 

The Quiet and the Messy Revival

They say there is a quiet revival —

soft as breath on stained glass,

a hush that Spotify,

TikTok,

and cynicism couldn’t kill.

The soul, stubborn as ever,

still remembers how to kneel.

And they come —

students and searchers,

middle-class, 

secular spiritual, 

young professionals with

coffee and questions,

drawn to bands and liturgy,

Alpha Course chats and candlelight.

The lure of meaning

in a world fraying at the seams.

Something ancient

leaking through the cracks

of their disenchanted age.

And this too is grace.

Don’t despise it.

But don’t confuse revival

with bums on seats

or hands in the air —

as good as these might be.

Revival is when the Wild Goose

breathes her fierce breath,

when justice stirs,

and mission is reborn.

It is a thin place —

where heaven brushes earth,

where hearts ignite

in both university halls

and urban streets.

For authentic revival

never flatters the powerful

or stays safe in steeples.

It breaks bread with the broken,

brings the margins to the middle,

and births a hunger for justice

that cannot be tamed.

And yes —

there is also a messy revival

in forgotten corners:

in prisons and shelters,

on council estates and recovery rooms.

It smells like roll-ups and sweat,

sounds like broken laughter

and half-remembered hymns.

There are no bands,

just trembling voices

singing praise

through nicotine lungs

and trauma-shaken hands.

And Jesus —

the penniless preacher from Nazareth,

the God-Man of Jubilee —

he’s here too.

Not watching from afar,

but dwelling where the Spirit pours:

in the quiet hush of a communion rail,

and in the refuge of a prison chapel,

in the homeless shelter at dusk,

in the guitars and anthems of auditoriums,

and in tear-streaked prayers on street corners.

He proclaims good news still —

not to the polished,

but to the poor.

He eats with tax collectors

and those on tag,

blesses the bruised,

welcomes the wasted,

and announces

a year of Jubilee —

where hoarded wealth is released,

where systems bend,

and the forgotten find their name.

Let the quiet revival flourish.

Let the messy one rage.

Let incense rise from both altars.

Let both be called holy.

For the Spirit blows

through polished sanctuaries

and shattered shelters alike,

and Christ —

scarred,

smiling —

walks freely between them.

- Rev’d Jon Swales

 

 I read that less than 10% of our thoughts on any given day are just rewinds: thoughts we repeat over and over. As I listen to my thoughts I'm persuaded this is true; redundant repeats, like a song that gets stuck in your head. So when I read this quote it revealed why I love to read, doing so ushers in new material and creative thought that refreshes my mind and relieves me of my "ennui" of thoughts.

 

 

 Ruskin was walking the streets of London lamenting that not a shred of country life was left in them.

“For these streets are indeed what they have built; their inhabitants the people they have chosen to educate. 

This fermenting mass of unhappy human beings – news-mongers, novel-mongers, picture-mongers, poison-drink-mongers, lust and death-mongers; the whole smoking mass of it one vast dead-marine storeshop –accumulation wreck of the Dead Sea, with every activity in it, a form of putrefaction.”

To soothe and recover from his visit to the city of vanity, he consoles himself back in the country when he notices an old woman and her pig – 

“I got some peace and refreshment by mere sympathy with a Bewickian little pig in the roundest and conceitedest burst of pig-blossom. His servant, - a grave old woman, with much sorrow and toil in the wrinkles of her skin, while his was only dimpled in its divine thickness – was leading him, with magnanimous length of rope, down a grassy path behind the convent; stopping, of course, where he chose.

Stray stalks and leaves of eatable things, in various stages of ambrosial rottenness, lay here and there. The little joyful darling of Demeter shook his curly tail, and munched; and grunted the goodnaturedest of grunts, and snuffled the approving’s of snuffles, and was a balm and beautification to behold, and I would have fain have changed places with him for a little while….”  

He then shares his thoughts about his home on a mountain – 

“On my own little piece of mountain ground, I grow a large quantity of wood-hyacinths and heather, without any expense worth mentioning; 

but my only industrious agricultural operations 

have been the getting of three-pounds-ten worth of hay, 

off a field for which I pay six pounds rent, 

and surrounding with a costly wall six feet high, 

to keep out rabbits, which consider it a kitchen garden, 

which, being terraced and trim, my neighbors say is pretty; 

and which will probably, every third year, when the weather is not wet, supply me with a dish of strawberries.”