At our service at the Union Gospel Mission, I met a young man whose face I didn't recognize.

It was his first day at the mission and I haven't seen a more needy, despondent looking guy.

He was early twenties I'd guess, very thin, faced sunburned, hair greasy and unkempt.

He sat slouched in a way that made me think he was trying to be invisible. In short, he looked scared, lonely and defeated.

I greeted him when I came in, and sat down beside him when I finished preaching.

We talked for a few minutes and I asked if I could pray for him. When I finished praying, I reached to give him a hug and he just collapsed into me, burying his head in my chest.

A more pathetic and needy young man I've never seen.

The love for him just gushed within me, and I woke up haunted by him, wishing I could help him adjust to the crazy world of mission life; where there is so much clamor, everyone is busy about themselves and a timid guy like him can often just get lost in the cracks and wash out.

I prayed he wouldn't, but I feared he would.

Update - He's adjusting and seems to be doing well!

 Lament For Vengeance

Lyssa reborn,

daughter of the mother of Furies

from the blood of the neutered god,

you rage on your Kithara

and hope is heard

on these Elysian Fields.

Wrath whispers

behind sacred words given to heal,

oracles of madness,

your vengeance a fiery muse.

Smoldering beauty,

whose brutality bites and bruise,

a lamenting bard

holding our judgment’s noose.

Wounded souls,

washed bloody in song,

tears given as humble offerings

as you baptize the searching daughters of Nix.

A shadow of victory standing

over shattered teeth and bone,

gathering praise and supplication,

from the hopes and nightmares

of those without a home.

Eric Blauer, 9/19/23

A reflection on an encounter with a very broken women trying to heal. So many tragic stories behind people’s words and actions. I pray to the only God who can bring light out of darkness, hope out of Hell and a new life of forgetfulness granted by the peace that only forgiveness can truly bring.

 

 

My visitations by the Queens of the Sheba

 "Doing what I do for Christ alone is one of the most difficult things I have had to navigate in my own mind, heart and soul as a pastor, writer, poet and artist. It’s not something early on that I was aware of as a central truth in forming a healthy inner life as a creator, maker and teller of meaningful things. 

I suppose many of these matters are at the heart of the desert temptations of Jesus, him combatting the drives that seem to be at the center of our human motivations in this world. Even writing about it seems to be tainted with the desire to be known, consoled and heard. But I only know of the temptations of Jesus, because the Spirit wanted someone to write them down and they only knew them because at some point around a lakeside fire probably, Jesus shared them. 

We are created in the image of God and that image means we make and share good things with those we love and want to walk together with in some manner. Crafting a gift of some type to give to others for their benefit is woven into our very being. Generosity and hospitality are at the center of healthy living.

I often struggle with the silence of gifts received. It’s rare to hear much response to the things I fashion with great labor. So much of the outer branches with their varying sizes of fruit are the products of countless hours of inner conception. One carries the gifts of God in the womb of thought, feeling, wound and wonder, prayer and revelation, suffering and glory. What comes out of us is always a part of us in some deep and mysterious way. We are all flesh and blood, food and drink in infinitesimal ways. All are mothers giving milk from the breast of our souls. Our life for others life, small acts that mirror the Father of all, who is the source of all. 

Sometimes we are granted moments that give back a measure of grace that is expressed in genuine gratitude. Some of those gifts are in words and some are actions. 

On Sunday, I received two such gifts. 

One came from a woman who I have had the privilege of getting to know through the shelters of Union Gospel Mission. She showed up on Sunday after taking the bus from the Northside of Spokane. Not a short commute, one that on Sundays is extra long. She has recently left the program, entered a sober living house and I was pretty sure that I wouldn't see her again. The challenges of work, new living arrangements, after program duties, difficulties and distractions often pull people away. But there she was, smiling and affirming that she wanted to be there and chose to come on her own initiative. 

It was a sacrifice, one that I was deeply moved by. 

The other gift came from a little girl who came for the first time on Sunday. After the service she came up to the pulpit by herself and asked if she could tell me something. I bent down to listen to her and she told me that she thought I was “a good pastor…who had light in my eyes.” She said it with such confidence and with a countenance of a little angel. I was taken back by her courage and clarity of communication. I don't have many people come up after a service and share that often, so this was particularly meaningful, and I was moved deeply by her gift.  

I am reminded of the words of Jesus:

“The Queen of the South will rise up with the men of this generation at the judgment and condemn them, because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and behold, something greater than Solomon is here.” -Jesus (Luke 11:31)

I was visited by two queens on Sunday and the distance they traveled both in body and heart were profoundly generous to me. I was humbled and healed and today I am grateful to the Lord for His encouragements." 

Pastor Eric Blauer. 

 Dante getting salty about preachers in his day. 

“‘Down there, when you philosophize, you fail to follow one true path, so does the love of show preoccupy your mind and carry you away, ‘and even this is tolerated here with less wrath than when holy Scripture is neglected or its doctrines are mistaught. 

‘There is no thought among you of the blood it costs to sow the world with it, or how acceptable he is who humbly makes his way to it. ‘Each strives to gain attention by inventing new ideas, expounded by the preachers at some length—but the Gospel remains silent…”

“‘Christ did not say to His first congregation: “Go preach idle nonsense to the world,” but gave to them a sound foundation. ‘And that alone resounded from their lips, so that, in their warfare to ignite the faith, they used the Gospel as their shield and lance. 

‘Now preachers ply their trade with buffoonery and jokes, their cowls inflating if they get a laugh and the people ask for nothing more.”

— Paradiso XXIX by Dante