I love this photo. 

Every young person needs someone who understands their struggles and can be leaned on for help.

The look on "Grandma" struck me as one who knows life is a difficult affair, but with faith and grit all can be overcome. 

And the young woman, looking into my heart, wonders if I will be for her good or her ill??

 But either way, she has a friend she knows will be there for her.

My son, Pastor Eric, wrote this four years ago.

A Drunk Man in the Street

"A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground." -Mark 9:17-18

I was heading to the Union Gospel Mission last Thursday night, running late and I came upon a sight that seemed to be ripped right out of my sermon passage.
I was heading down a side street, it was still heavy with snow and I saw ahead of me a man pushing a shopping cart and pulling a small dog on a leash.
He was having difficulty navigating the snow and ice ruts.

It was dark and my headlights illuminated him as I was approaching and he was in the middle of the road.
I knew he was not going to be able to move in time, so I decided to turn left and go around the block to give him space.
As I got near, I noticed he appeared to be drunk and was really struggling with the cart, his dog and his inebriation.
As I was starting to turn, he stumbled to his knees, still grasping the cart.
As my lights moved across him, I could notice him leaning over, it looked like he was puking or something and he had pissed his pants.

It seemed as if all time stopped as my lights exposed his humiliating, dire straights.
It was a snapshot of how the enemy of our souls and the depths of our sin lead us to be ‘thrown to the ground”.

I drove past him, which to some might seem cold and calloused, and it may be, but it is not an irregular site in my life and ministry.
It’s part of the hood I pastor in
and I was heading to preach and minister to a room full of men who could stand in for that man. My compassion was there, I saw him.
I marked the moment in my heart and mind, his suffering was not missed by me, I just didn’t stop but I used the sight to fuel the pathos in my work that night to compel men to come to Jesus. That might be a weak response to the situation, but it was all I had for it.

I have living lessons being played out in front of me all the time, some I am up to the task to engage, others are beyond me or my willingness to act but I try not to dismiss them. They are icons of heaven and hell for me and through them, I touch others and am touched by others.

After the evening service and all the preaching, prayer and ministry to men,
I left having seen Jesus do His work in many men’s lives.
The end of the Mark passage came to pass, just as real as the first part I had witnessed on the streets ---

“The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.” -Mark 9:26-27

Praise Jesus! He is still ‘Taking men by the hand and lifting them to their feet’
and empowering them to ‘stand up’. I pray it will be so for that man too.

 "Recovery touches all aspects of our lives, body, soul and spirit. We are interconnected beings that do not come to life in compartments within ourselves but awaken by the ripples of concentric circles like pond water invaded by stones. Grace enters us in different places, but it moves through us regardless of the many obstructions that are present within us.

One of these stones in the pond of recovering from death and all its manifestations is the power of nature.  

Addictions impact our relationships, first and foremost with ourselves. We…are addicts. Our lives, and more particularly our bodies, are the epicenter of this war. To recover is always a physical journey that wraps around all the other aspects of restoration.

We lose connections with so many God designed parts of a whole and meaningful life when we give ourselves to our destructions.

That is why repentance and forgiveness always starts with God and ourselves, then extends outward to others. Our sins destroy us and this devastation is profoundly personal, touching our very flesh, our sexual experiences and the core sense of our self. Who we are, our identity, our consciousness, our understanding and compassion for the gift of our lives needs to be recovered too.

Self harm is a reality because as Jesus bluntly said “murder” has been the intention of evil since the beginning (John 8:44). This hatred is always manifesting in some way or another. To be “saved” is a far deeper and broader word than it’s often understood in religious circles that narrowly talk of it. To end the war on yourself is one of the most beautiful aspects of a recovering life. Finding peace with yourself is woven into peace with God and peace with others.Our bodies resonate with the various elements of the natural World. Everything emerged from the waters of chaos and our Creator fashioned us from dirt and wind.

In returning to our natural we encounter God’s Divine attributes:

“For his invisible attributes, that is, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen since the creation of the world,  being understood through what he has made.  As a result, people are without excuse.” -Romans‬ ‭1‬:‭20‬ ‭

Encountering the power of God is part of the recovery of life. We need resurrection, we must be born from above. To be recreated by God is a spiritual journey of many experiences. Regeneration is a joyful returning as much therapeutic as it is theological. To be remade is a gift that reunites us with our own bodies too.

You come to celebrate your cleansed and sanctified selves. To be holy isn’t a censure, but a celebration. Retuning to Eden isn’t a puritanical covering up of our created selves, but an unclothing of our blessed nakedness. A removal of remorse and shame and an entrance back into quiet and un-pressured communion.                  Being set free is a returning and recovery that only God can accomplish for us and within us.

It leaves us with silence and song as we feast on the many delicious fruits God has granted us in His bountiful garden. To know Him is to come to know ourselves again. To follow Him is to reduce our pace, to stop racing, rushing and being driven or pushed, but to simply walk.

The addicted are compelled, the free ones are invited. Recovering life is tough, but it isn’t a yoke that rubs you raw.

“Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.” -Jesus (Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28‬-‭30‬)

 She's not easy.

A life with this girl will not be a walk in the park so listen up....

Her past trauma has taught her to build walls up that surround her heart that are nearly indestructible. 

She talks back and she stands up for herself because of the things she's been through. 

Her feelings are easily hurt and she overthinks literally everything and unfortunately believing the worst case scenario. 

She is going to need you be completely honest and be very straightforward with her at all times because she is done playing games like she has with the people in her past, that were the complete opposite of what they proclaimed to be. 

She will need continuous reassurance with not only your words, but your actions as well with every single day that passes. 

She fights the voices in her head everyday that tells her she's not good enough. 

She has anxiety and depression and there will be days where she will struggle to even get out of bed. 

She's still learning how to love herself so she will require a little more patience and effort than what you're used to but I promise you this ..... 

If you can prove to her your intentions are genuine and you show her how much you deeply care through your actions on a daily basis, you will experience one of the most purest forms of love in existence. 

~ Cody Bret

 This one’s for the grandparents who TRULY show up.  

Not just for the photos. Not just for the social media moments. But for the everyday—the messy, the beautiful, and the real.  

For the ones who don’t just celebrate the big milestones but are there for all the in-between moments, too.  

The ones who never miss a game, a recital, or a birthday.  

The ones who cheer the loudest from the stands, clap the hardest in the audience, and give the warmest hugs in the parking lot after.  

The ones who bring comfort with every embrace and wisdom with every story.  

Who make the holidays brighter, the traditions stronger, and the ordinary days a little sweeter.  

Who show their love in the little things—handwritten notes, homemade meals, early morning rides, and late-night talks.  

Because showing up isn’t about convenience or appearances.  

It’s about THEM Their childhood. Their memories. Their hearts.  

And in the end, that steady, unwavering love—that PRESENT love—is the greatest gift you could ever give. ❤️  

Here’s to the grandparents who make life richer, one moment at a time.

 

The following is about not neglecting our family and those close to us with our zeal for strangers. It's harder at home and with family because they make demands on us that a stranger may not. 

"Charity sitteth on a fair hill-top, blessing far and near, but her garments drop ambrosia, chiefly on the violets around her: She gladdeneth indeed the map like scene, stretching to the verge of the horizon. 

For her angel face is lustrous and beloved, even as the moon in heaven; but the lights of that beatific vision gloweth in serener concentration, the nearer to her heart, and nearer to her home, that hill-top where she sitteth. 

Therefore she is kind unto her kin, yearning in affection on her neighbors, giving gifts to those around who know and loved her well. 

But the counterfeit of charity, an hypocrite of earth, not a grace of heaven, seeketh not to bless at home, for her nearer aspect is ill-favored: therefore hideth she for shame, counting that pride humility. 

And none of those around her hearth are gladdened by her gifts: Rather, with an overreaching zeal, flingeth she her bounty to the stranger and scattered prodigalities abroad compensate for meanness in her home; For benefits showered on the distant shine in unmixed beauty, so then even she may reap their undiscerning praise: 

Therefore native want hath pined, where foreign need was fattened; Woman been crushed by the tyranneus hand that upheld the flag of liberty: Poverty been prisoned up and starved by hearts that are maudlin upon crime; and freeborn babes been manacled by men who liberate the unruly slave."

Martin F. Tupper 

 

 

 

I read Isaiah 11:6-9, and I've always loved this passage but I've never really found an application to share at the jail or the mission. But this morning I realized there are eight references to innocent children and vulnerable young animals. That was the link, the overwhelming majority of the people I speak to have been abused and molested. 

Aww, but not so in God's kingdom where - 

  "The wolf will lie down with the lamb,

And the leopard will lie down with the young goat,

And the calf and the young lion and the yearling will be together;

And a little child will lead them.

7 Also the cow and the bear will graze,

Their young will lie down together,

And the lion will eat straw like the ox. 

8 The nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra,

And the weaned child will put his hand on the viper’s den.

9 They will not hurt or destroy in all My holy mountain,

For the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD

As the waters cover the sea."

When I saw this photo I felt like I recognized her, 

I've seen those eyes countless times, 

hardened, 

hiding an inner rage from innumerable betrayals, abuses and violations. 

Broken on the inside, case hardened steel on the outside. 

Necessary for survival.

As near impossible as it is to reach her heart, 

buried in years of  struggle, 

one needs but to introduce her to a young woman who is also fighting the same battles, 

and you will see her heart, 

hidden away from most, pour out and reach out 

with a tenderness you never thought resided in her; 

but it does, 

under layers of anguish, she will go to great sacrifice to support another facing what she's faced. 

Motherly, sisterly... 

She will bare her teeth and claws to do battle with anyone 

who would harm her new, immediate, friend. 

  

 

I have a weekly church service at the county corrections center where I live, and last week there was a young fella about 25 or so, that reminded me of one of my sons. He was an outgoing fella with an approachable face and personality. 

When they come in I shake their hand and introduce myself, then when all have arrived I begin. 

About 15 minutes in, the fella that looked like my son, had to go for some kitchen duties. But about ten minutes later her returned. I said I was glad he was able to come back and he gave me the oddest reason why he came back. 

It wasn't because I was friendly, nor was it that the topic was so riveting, or that I spoke in a way that reached him, no, he told me, 

"The way I shook his hand got to him, and he came back because of that." 

What? A handshake? What did God do in that simple handshake that impacted him? I'll never know, but it goes to show that if we simply show up, prayed up, and prepared, God will do His miraculous work. 

 "Portraying the homeless with a positive approach is a compelling reminder that we are all human.

As viewers stare directly into the powerful gazes, we are invited to actually look beyond the surface

to the strength of each person's character.

“Instead of presenting them as The Other, or, "Those people," and thus, by default, different from us, I wanted to photograph them in a studio setting, against a neutral backdrop, focusing on their individuality rather than on stereotypes.

In essence, I want to show who they are

rather than what they are labeled,” explains the photographer Jan Banning.

This is the mystery of godliness, that when we seek to help the downcast, God brings to light their inner beauty and it eclipses the outward distressing disguise that some have.

 SPIRITUAL GIFTS AND THE "ANOINTING."

On another site a woman asked "what is anointed preaching?"

This is my feeble attempt to answer.

Regarding your question about how to get the anointing.

I'll give you my opinion, and admittedly, this is a controversial subject.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 14, where Paul discusses spiritual gifts; he describes prophecy this way -

"One who prophesies speaks to men for edification, exhortation, and consolation."

Prophecy, which can mean knowing about a future event, also means preaching.

So if someone is anointed, it means they have been given a spiritual gift for the building up of the church.

If someone has the gift of preaching, (prophecy)

it means they have been given a spiritual gift to do so,

and this is called anointing.

Perhaps you've found yourself in a position of helping another in crisis, or teaching a new convert,

or some other circumstance where you sensed the presence of God in an unusually powerful way, that too, would be called being anointed.

God will anoint, or you may call it "assist" a person when they are doing the work of the ministry, at any level. A Sunday school teacher may experience the anointing, or "assistance" of God in a way they would not normally experience it.

As your faith grows and you reach out to others, in the many and varied ways our faith teaches, you will experience the anointing (assistance) at some point.

Personally, I think it not only assists us, but it motivates us to do more; I think it is an inner reward for doing the will of God.

I suppose it is somewhat like the emotions of our conscience; when we do good, our conscience feels clear, it feels something, hard to put into words, but we know it when we feel it.

So in some ways that is like the anointing, better felt than told, but unmistakeable.

In my experience, the higher degree of holiness in living, and the more pure the intentions are, the greater anointing.

The look on this young woman's face....

I've seen it hundreds of times. 

You can see the need in her, to be respected, to be loved, 

and yet you can see in her eyes her mistrust.

 

Will you be one of a countless number 

that abandoned her? 

That betrayed her? 

That use her?

That promise, and lie.....

Christ calls us to minister His love without agenda, 

without expecting anything in return, 

pure, unadulterated concern and care; 

Will I be there?  

 

 

"Good Men Are Not Hard To Find - They Are Hard To Seduce"

There is a common misconception floating around that good men are scarce and elusive creatures that have vanished into thin air. But here's the truth - good men aren't hard to find. They simply aren’t easily captivated by the surface-level charms that many focus on displaying.

A man of substance does not base his choice on passing attractions. He seeks depth, character, someone who aligns with his values and vision. If you’ve been struggling to get the attention of a genuinely good man, it might be time to change your strategy.

What doesn't work:

Tight-fitting clothes and revealing clothes: Yes, these may catch the eye of many, but a good man seeks more than what is on the surface. He seeks a deeper connection than the appearances.

Social media drama: posting exaggerated rants or super select selfies may draw likes, but it won't inspire genuine respect or interest.

Materialism over meaning: flaunting love for luxury or designer labels doesn't impress someone grounded in values.

What works:

1. Character over cleavage: A good man pays attention to how you treat others, your humility and your kindness. A compassionate heart leaves a lasting impression

2. Brains Over Beauty: Intelligence is not about degrees or vocabulary; it's about curiosity, wisdom, and the ability to hold meaningful conversations. Stimulate his mind and you'll gain his admiration.

3. Values over vanity: A man of substance admires a woman with clear values and purpose. Show him your love for growth, your commitment to your faith, or your dedication to something greater than yourself.

4. Consistency over chaos: stability without drama is a magnet for good men. They're looking for someone who can handle life's challenges with grace, not someone who constantly invites unnecessary turbulence.

5. Confidence over Conformity: Be Unapologetically You. A good man respects a woman who knows her worth and isn't afraid to be alone when necessary.

The secret to getting a good man:

A good man doesn't need you to change who you are; he needs you to be who you are - authentically, unapologetically, and with integrity.

He’s not looking for perfection, but someone who complements his own journey, someone with shared values and goals. He realizes the silent strength behind your actions, the way you talk to others and how you carry yourself through the ups and downs of life.

So, if you're striving for a meaningful connection, focus less on fleeting external traits and more on cultivating the qualities that define your inner self. Let your actions, intellect and values speak louder than your clothes or social media.

Be more strategic than pretty. Because when a good man finally notices you, he'll cherish every aspect of who you are — inside and out.

 Sex talk

A brother on a Christian men’s site asked what to do about his wife that doesn’t seem to like sex as much as he.  

I did a little research and shared the following with him. 

 Hi Member, I had to smile when you asked if others have a similar problem. Yes, yes, they do!!!!!!! 

It is an age-old problem and even today with all the sex education available, many men simply don't get it.

 First, let me qualify this by saying there are many women with high sex drives, and in some cases this problem is reversed, the woman wants more than the man. 

I just Googled and read that about 25 to 29% of women have a higher sex drive. 

The question is why, and what to do about it! 

Regarding the "Why" 

here are some reasons for a low libido in women. ------

"What is loss of female libido?

Loss of libido (low libido or low sex drive) is a reduced desire to have sex. Your sex drive can vary during your life. Loss of libido is when your sex drive is less than what is normal for you. 

Low libido is the most common sexual health problem for females.

 What symptoms are related to low libido?

It’s not unusual for people to lose interest in sex at some stage during their life. 

Symptoms of low sex drive or loss of libido might be:

• having no interest in any type of sex including masturbation

• rarely or never having sexual fantasies or thinking of sex

• being unhappy with your low desire for sexual activity

Changes in levels of hormones in your body can lead to changes in your sex drive. These include:

• hormonal changes due to perimenopause or menopause

• some forms of contraception

• pregnancy, giving birth or breastfeeding

Some psychological causes of low libido include:

• stress

• anxiety or depression

• bereavement

• poor body image

• fatigue or exhaustion

• history of unwanted sexual contact

• trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Often, problems with low libido are related to your relationship. For many people, emotional closeness is vital to sexual intimacy. 

Some relationship issues that can be a factor in low sex drive are:

• lack of emotional connection with your partner

• unresolved fights

• being able to communicate about your sexual needs

• trust issues

• not having enough privacy

• illness of your partner

• a change in your partner’s sexual function

Some physical causes of low libido include:

• vaginal dryness

• painful sex

• difficulty reaching female orgasm

• some medicines — including medicines used to treat depression and antipsychotic medications

• underlying health problems like endometriosis, premenstrual syndrome (PMS), depression, cancer, arthritis, or heart problems

• alcohol smoking or illegal drugs

How is the cause of loss of libido diagnosed?

There is no ‘normal’ amount of sex drive, everyone is different. 

Some people may have no or low sex drive which is normal for them.

Some health conditions can cause a low libido. Relationship problems or personal issues are other common causes." 

So, as you can see women are complex and gaining and keeping a healthy sex life is not child's play! So we begin by educating ourselves, and then we move to communication. Sex is so often very difficult to harmonize, and even in the best marriage, sex is complicated and it hits our egos in ways few other things do. Sex, especially if there has been abuse in one of the spouse’s past, success requires real patience on both sides. 

If there has been past abuse, this is something you will have to learn to talk about without triggering or hurting each other. This is such a delicate issue; we must read about methods to help overcome the physical and psychological hindrances.

All marriages have their struggles with sex to some degree; with some it's overcome easily with good communication, and with others it can get so difficult neither is relaxed or enjoys it to the fullest, if at all.

If the relationship is struggling, it's so important to find those times when everything's going well and sit down, pray together, and talk heart to heart. 

The first challenge in marriage is building trust, openness and being able to be vulnerable with each other. 

I would get some counseling by a qualified counselor whenever there is an impasse. 

Left unresolved it rarely gets better. 

I'm no sex therapist, but hopefully somewhere in this you'll find something that hits the mark. God bless you brother.

 

I talked with a 28 year old woman named Isabella at the jail last night, and she's still haunting me this morning. She's a pretty, delicate young woman with  black silken hair, and she only began using drugs when covid started, but what was so unusual was, the first drug she tried was fentanyl. 

She kind of blushed when she said it, knowing most people begin with far less dangerous drugs and work themselves up the ladder, fentanyl being the last. I didn't have much time with her, but enough to learn that her childhood was a living nightmare. I understood.

Towards the end she began opening up more and at one point she told me she had overdosed on fentanyl 26 times!! She explained how her boyfriend and her made an agreement that if one of them OD's the other will rush them to the hospital, but if they revive before they get there, they will go back and continue getting high. She told me she overdosed twice in one night! 

Such a flagrant disregard for her life reveals the depths of depression abuse causes, where one is willing to risk it all just to be free of memories of the past. What of death? Come what may.....

I'm left with such a mixture of turbulent emotions at times like these. Knowing that without ongoing, serious, experienced help, there is little hope for her. What a helpless longing I feel, a mourning deep within me, and yet, such a flood of love and affection that God pours through me as we talk, and remains with me still. I know His shadow hovers and covers, and my heart take refuge in one thing, and one thing only: all of my Hope is in Jesus. 

But Jesus proclaimed  

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives!"

Yes! Jesus saves! I've seen it ore and ore, had I not, I couldn't venture into this murky world of darkness and enslavement. 

The picture is not her, but a random photo from the Internet.