"Any man can cultivate having the heart of a father. Reaching out and showing care and concern to kids that don’t have or are separated from a healthy father is critically important today. 

I witness the power of purposeful attention and loving recognition of a child every time I step inside the Union Gospel Mission Crisis Shelter for Women and Children. 

I saw this yesterday when we were transporting 7 moms and four kids from the Shelter to our Church on Sunday. 

There’s a few different looks on a child’s face when I encounter them. 

One is a hesitant distance in the eyes and body language. It’s a skittish demeanor resulting from the lack of consistent contact with a safe, gentle and touchable man. It’s part ignoring, part distaste and part ignorance. It’s a difficult posture to overcome, but it slowly yields to proximity, opportunity and consistency. 

The other is hunger, longing, memory and need. It’s noticeable in the eyes first. I walk in and many eyes turn to me. Like little birds in a nest heart-mouths open. Chatter begins. Faces then hands then hearts. Closeness happens, smiles dawn, shadows flee and laughter sparks. 

Sometimes it’s just calm, like a dog that turns over on its back revealing its belly in an act of surrendered vulnerability. Sometimes it’s gentle confidences and trust exhibited by a willingness to talk or look you in the eyes. Sometimes they will reach out to be held. 

Yesterday one of these little boys got secured in a car seat in the van and the mom was making sure he was good. She then grabbed her baby and was heading for the second car we had for transport. I was surprised since this was their first ride to an unknown place and I thought he might be scared without mom close by him. She assured me he wouldn’t and that he didn’t have separation anxiety because…they hadn’t been living together for awhile. He was comfortable being alone and away from her. 

I didn’t quite know how to process that quick explanation. It landed in my mind as an understandable explanation, but as it moved down into my heart it took on a sadness of realization. Separation is a common reality in the chaos of life lived in these struggles and hardships. 

I purposefully reassured him, gave him supportive compliments about his big-boyness and watched him as I facilitated moms, car seats, babies and all that comes with trying to get them all in a van. 

As we travelled he was quiet, looking out the window. The only thing he said was “That’s my day care!” when we passed it on the way to our church. We got there, he jumped out and reunited with mom and integrated into the kids program of the day easily and enthusiastically. 

As I was dropping them off at the shelter after church I gave him a fist bump and told him I was amazed at how good he was. 

His mom told me that he said he had fun and was coming back tomorrow. My heart ached a bit realizing he thought it was going to be an every day joy. 

Thankfully his mom has entered the long term program and our ability to continue our connections will grow." 

Pastor Eric.