This is a for the married men who come home from work and neglect their wives and children. 

The men who sit at the Xbox or the television while their wives continue working, cleaning, preparing children for bed and their husbands don't lift a finger to help. 

I responded to one such woman who was a stay at home mother and also worked forty hours online from home, and when her husband comes home he flops down and neglects all the duties she attends to. 

"I can't tell you how much it grieves me to hear stories like yours, and, sadly, they are all too common. But let me first answer the question "do all men act like this," and that is a resounding NO. I'm 76 years old, have four sons and six grandsons, so I'm going to write a letter to your husband now as if he were my son, and if you choose you can share it with him, I hope you do. 

Hi son, I'm so disturbed because I listened to your wife's struggles today. She described her marriage to you and how it makes her feel and, frankly, it's as though she were describing a form of slavery not a marriage. She describes the marriage as though you are in control, the decision maker, the task master and the only one whose opinions and feelings count. She also describes your participation in rearing your child and caring for the house and the never ending chores that come with it, as little at best. In addition, your spiritual life has come to a standstill. 

Let me be honest, if this is true, you are doing all you can to bring divorce to your door. And as you know, children of divorce are at high risk for drug abuse, suicide, depression, lower grades, lower income, risky behavior, failed relationships, and so many other things that contribute to a meaningless life if you divorce. Of course, each child will suffer to a different degree, some are like dandelions and will grow even under bad circumstances; but others are like violets, that require special circumstances and wilt with the first cold breath. 

So forgive me if I urge you in the strongest terms possible, to invest in your own marriage. Working hard and holding down a good job is admirable, but that is not where it ends. Your day should end when your wife's day ends, and not a minute sooner. She is not a house-slave, expected to serve and clean up after you, and then on top of that care for your child full time and work on top of that???? You are equally responsible for her mental health, physical health, emotional health, romantic health and your child's well being. Countless millions have created happy marriages where both husband and wife thrive as people, look forward to each day, as well as the future. This is your most important task in life, everything else pales in comparison. Had you presented to her, before marriage, what she now has, do you think for a minute she would have said yes? Of course not, we all want to have time for ourselves, a loving romantic life, times of quiet and reflection, times to have healthy recreation, hobbies and goals we are working towards. 

Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of reducing life to work only, where neither of you are growing as people, and enjoying life together. Will you fail at the most important thing in life? I know you can do better, and should do better; and if you continue to hold Kingship and control, it won't be long before you will reduce your marriage to the intolerable, and divorce will be the predictable outcome. 

I know you can do much better, if in fact you care enough. So, work along side of your wife until the days work is done; enjoy your child with her, and then when the child's bedtime comes, spend time together talking and planing how each of you can enhance one another's lives on every level, spiritually, emotionally,  physically, and watch the love grow! You will respect yourself far more and so will your wife. Happy homes are worth every minute of effort to build, and nothing compares to a happy home. ------------ So that gives you some idea of what I would say to my own adult sons if they had failed so miserably. God bless you, I hope something in this hits the mark.