"Saying goodbye to those we love so dearly here on earth is so very difficult, whether we lose them to death itself, a betrayal, a divorce, or a broken mind or body.

How anyone goes through these without the presence of God,

I simply do not know.

It feels like you just fall apart.

You just walk around with pieces rattling around inside you.

You feel fragmented, undone.

It takes a long time to address the journey,

and longer still, to get through the bruises

of the heart, and cuttings of the soul.

You have to embrace that you will be walking with these beautiful unrestored pieces of vintage warfares, with their stories rich and deep. 

 You will come to know the insatiable wonder

of the realities that death is part of the living, 

just as sure as dying is a rebirthing for them and you.

Your mind will play tricks on you.

Your emotions will bully you.

Your faith will need to be fierce.

You’re going to feel at best, strange in this old world, 

and devastated in the worst.

Just when you think the weeping has run its course, 

the nether springs deep in your hardest pieces will start to leak and overflow.

Best not be trying for that perfection of a life without the pieces. You’ll walk all over them and straight through them, 

circle around and do it again.

I’ve walked around in pieces for a

very long time now.

But I can tell you, I’d rather be in a million pieces at His feet, 

than be a million miles from His Presence.

My Savior knows what to do with my pieces.

He knows He can pull off one of those pieces and use it to meet the needs of another. 

I’ve seen Him take pieces and make songs,

restore families, 

build amazing homes, 

rejuvenate the untuned heart, 

place the truth in all its beauty, 

straight down in the midst of enemies.

Oh the miraculous goodness, the exquisite healing of Jesus, 

the power of pain in His hands.

Let it be.

Teach me to always come to Your Presence."

Ann Stewart Porter.