In Galations 5:22 the Bible lists 9 fruit of the Spirit. This is the world of emotions the Holy Spirit brings us to in the kingdom of God. When we close the door to faith in Christ, we are in darkness, and some are in darker places than others.
Jesus is the Light of the world, and he calls, draws and ushers us into light. For those who have had adverse childhood experiences, and suffered under parents that may have been addicts, abusive, incestuous or simply neglected their child: or have been in combat or domestic violence and oppression, this darkness can haunt you all the days of your life if you resist the light, and many do resist for countless reasons.
I have listed the nine fruits of the Spirit and underneath them, I listed the emotions some feel in the kingdom of darkness. It is quite a contrast
Some people who suffered childhood trauma grow up and Fall in love, a little too fast and deep. When traumatized people fall in love they often idealize their partner; put them on a pedestal, profess a rapid and deep connection, give of themselves fully, push for premature commitments. It may feel like the "love of a lifetime."
In time, this idealization evolves into a devaluation of the partner when the partner does not live up to the unrealistic expectations.
When this happens, they can become angry, resentful, abusive, and even vindictive.
Frequent feelings of being down, miserable, and or hopeless; difficulty recovering from such moods; pessimism about the future; pervasive shame; feeling of inferior self-worth; thoughts of suicidal behavior.
Anxiousness: Intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic, often in reaction to interpersonal stresses; worry about the negative effects of past unpleasant experiences and future negative possibilities; feeling fearful, apprehensive, or threatened by uncertainty; fears of falling apart or losing control.
Impulsive, acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing or following plans; a sense of urgency and self-harming behavior under emotional distress.
Hostility: Persistent or frequent angry feelings; anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults. * Inappropriate anger, sometimes escalating into physical confrontations
People have an unstable sense of who they are. That is, their self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes. They typically view themselves as evil or bad, and sometimes they may feel as if they don't exist at all. This unstable self-image can lead to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals, values and gender identity.
They may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all.
Often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from great admiration and love to intense anger and dislike.
Engagement in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard to consequences; lack of concern for one’s limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.
Self control -
Exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex and substance abuse. Obsessive thoughts, compulsive acts. Uncontrollable outburst of emotion or fear, often characterized by violent emotional outbreaks.
These negative feelings are serious and recovery can be a long process, but with educated counsel, deep prayer and education, God can and will renew the bruised and broken spirit. It is His deep longing to do so.