Why do I feel guilt and shame?

 

Victims of child abuse often feel lasting guilt and toxic shame; here is a good piece that explains that.

"As a defense and when it is impossible to avoid the reality of the abuse, the child must construct some system of meaning that justifies it. Inevitably the child concludes that her innate badness is the cause. The child seizes on this explanation early and clings to it tenaciously, for it enable her to preserve a sense of meaning, hope and power. If she's bad, then her parents are good. If she is bad, then she can try to be good. If, somehow, she has brought this fate upon herself, then somehow she has the power to change it. If she has driven her parents to mistreat her, then if only she tries hard enough, she may some day earn their forgiveness and finally win the protection and care she so desperately needs."

Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman M.D. Psychiatrist.