Trauma Bond

Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse.

The bond is created due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. After each circumstance of abuse, the abuser professes love, regret, and otherwise tries to make the relationship feel safe and needed for the abused person.

Trauma bonding is one reason that leaving an abusive situation can feel confusing and overwhelming. It involves positive and/or loving feelings for an abuser, making the abused person feel attached to and dependent on their abuser.

Signs & Symptoms of Trauma Bonding

Because not all abusive situations result in trauma bonding, you may be unsure if this term applies to you.

So, what are signs of trauma bonding? They include the following:2

An abuse victim covers up or makes excuses to others for an abuser's behavior

An abuse victim lies to friends or family about the abuse

A victim doesn't feel comfortable with or able to leave the abusive situation

An abuse victim thinks the abuse is their fault

The abuse follows a cycle (i.e., the abuser tries to make up for an abusive incident)

The abuser promises they'll change but they never do

The abuser controls the victim (i.e., manipulation or gaslighting)

The abuser isolates the victim from friends and family

The abuser gets friends and family on their side

The victim continues to trust the abuser. 

This is from "Very Well Mind" here is the link for further information. 

https://www.verywellmind.com/trauma-bonding-5207136