Bashful

  

"I believe that we ought to have resources to very simple remedies to combat shyness. The fact remains that the shyness of youth causes agonies both of anticipation and retrospect; if one really wishes to get rid of it, the only way is to determine to get used somehow to society and crowds and not to endeavor to avoid it; and as a practical rule to make up one’s mind, if possible, to ask people questions rather than to meditate on impressive answers. Asking other people questions about things to which they are likely to know the answers is one of the shortest cuts to popularity and esteem. It's a thing of wonder to reflect how much distress personal bashfulness causes people, how much they would give to be rid of it, and yet how very little trouble they ever take to acquiring any method of dealing with the difficulty. I see a good deal of undergraduates, and am often aware that they are friendly and responsive, but without any power of giving expression to it. I sometimes see them suffering acutely from shyness before my eyes. But a young person who can bring themselves to ask a perfectly simple question about some small matter of common interest is comparatively rare, and yet it is generally the simplest way out of the difficulty." Arthur Benson.