Thursday, December 04, 2008

Continuing on the theme of the last post, this quote offers additional insight in to the games we play and suffer from our feeble attempts to get along. I just love this picture by Bob Kurt, it so captures how sensitive I can be at the smallest inference that I am ill advised.
"There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. We look upon the man who gives it to us as offering an affront to our understanding, and treating us like children or idiots. We consider the instruction as an implicit censure, and the zeal which any one shows for our good on such an occasion, as a piece of presumption or impertinence. The truth of it is, the person who pretends to advise, does, in that particular, exercise a superiority over us, and can have no other reason for it, but that, in comparing us with himself, he thinks us defective either in our conduct or our understanding. For these reasons, there is nothing so difficult as the art of making advice agreeable; and indeed all the writers, both ancient and modern, have distinguished themselves among one another, according to the perfection at which they have arrived in this art." Addison


Anonymous said...

We are all so different aren't we. Addison is giving advise on how one should give advise. Learn the art of "manipulation and you can not only feel superior in the giving of advice, but you can feel even more superior when you master the art of "making it agreeable"

Oh yes, the fine art of "manipulation".

Yes, we are all different. I prefer someone to simply shoot from the hip and let me sift it out. I know how to manipulate; and to me that (when utilized) is arrogance personified!

Just another persons point of view.

Matt said...

I'll go down to Bill's Bar
I can make it that far
And I'll see if my friends are still there
Yes, and here's to the few
Who forgive what you do
And the fewer who don't even care -L. Cohen

I always think of this Cohen song when someone is trying to give me advice and I can smell it. I admit I don't care for advice much, and I love when people are just relaxed and care enough not to care or help. Another guys says "people don't even like to be told their fly is down." I know the feeling of wondering hot to tell someone their fly is down, sometimes it's better to not pay attention and hope they catch it themselves.

Donna said...

Depending on how well I knew the person, I would tell him that his fly was down.

I appreciate it when someone tells me that I have something in my teeth.

To be embarassed for a short time with someone who cares about me is better than being shamed in front of many.

I love the person who is not afraid to give me advice and yet at the same time is not offended when I don't agree with it. We can agree to disagree with me knowing fully well, that that person will go home and pray for me fervently on his/her knees. That's a true friend.

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Fred :)

Excellent advice on advice. Criticism and advice makes us bristle up. However, a lot depends on who gives us advice and how it is given. Whether advice is given with a superiority complex or with a genuine interest in our welfare. It also depends on how much we respect the person who gives us the advice.

However, if you condider the business scenario,many organisations designate their representatives as advisers such as business advisers, financial advisers etc. People tend to accept these advisers much better than representatives because it is generally believed that these advisers have better knowledge on the subjects.

Have a good day :)