103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known

Today is my birthday. I turn 70. I’ve learned a few things so far that might be helpful to others. For the past few years, I’ve jotted down bits of unsolicited advice each year and much to my surprise I have more to add this year. So here is my birthday gift to you all: 103 bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was young. Dan Bergman.

 

• About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.

• No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.

• Don’t ever work for someone you don’t want to become.

• Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.

• Don’t keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.

• If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar.

• Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.

• When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.

• Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.

• Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.

• Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.

• When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.

• Criticize in private, praise in public.

• Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn.

• It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student.

• If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game.

• Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.

• Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.

• Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time.

• The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I don’t need to write this down because I will remember it.”

• Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.

• Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.

• Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height.

• The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally.

• Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us.

• Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is.

• Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.

• When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.

• There is no such thing as being “on time.” You are either late or you are early. Your choice.

• Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.

• The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.

• You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.

• Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.

• Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.

• When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply take that as a negative.

• Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better.

• Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.

• The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary.

• A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.

• Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one.

• Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.

• Always read the plaque next to the monument.

• When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do.

• What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.

• Make stuff that is good for people to have.

• When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly.

• To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.

• You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.

• When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them “what would be fair” and their answer usually is.

• 90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap.

• You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.

• We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.

• Thank a teacher who changed your life.

• You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.

• Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.

• Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries.

• You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early.

• A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

• Take the stairs.

• What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices.

• When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute.

• The only productive way to answer “what should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “who should I become?”

• Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.

• It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.

• It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence.

• Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.

• Art is whatever you can get away with.

• For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them.

• Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.

• Don’t wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait.

• To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe.

• Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.

• Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.

• Don’t believe everything you think you believe.

• To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles.

• At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3.

• Actual great opportunities do not have “Great Opportunities” in the subject line.

• When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other.

• Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.

• When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.

• When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size.

• Don’t bother fighting the old; just build the new.

• Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated.

• When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence.

• You are as big as the things that make you angry.

• When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to “spray” your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying.

• Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Don’t focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.

• When negotiating, don’t aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.

• If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?

• You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%.

• Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that don’t spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do.

• Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger.

• For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.

• Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.

• Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough.

• If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.

• Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.

• The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do.

• Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them.

• Don’t purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.

• If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.

• Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.

• The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

 

 "True instruction was in his mouth..... And he turned many back from iniquity." Mal. 2:6 

This touching photo of Nicky Cruz reaching a young man's heart illustrates so vividly Christian ministry. Most of us will speak to people one on one, as we sympathize and win their trust; it may be at work, or in church, the streets or online. Today's youth are lost in a cloud of confusion and with few to point the way of truth; may I be one who tries. 

   

 "Christianity went forth into the communities where multitudes were held in slavery, and all ranks were ground and oppressed by despotism; abuses on which the spirit of our religion frowns as sternly as on any which can be named. Yet Christianity did not command the master to free his slaves, or the despot to descend from his absolute throne; but satisfied itself with proclaiming sublime truths in regard to God's paternal character and administration, and broad and generous principles of action, leaving to these the work of breaking every chain, by gradual, inward, irresistible influence, and of asserting the essential equality and unalienable rights of the whole human race."  William Ellery Channing. 

  The great joy of reading the Bible is we discover truths that are new to us. Sometimes we think that all truth has been discovered and that we have nothing to do but to repeat what others have taught. But don't feel as if Christianity has spoken its last word, and there is nothing more to say; God has intended that truth should be our own discovery.

 Paradoxical as it may seem, we ought to discover the truths which we have been taught by others; because the light which our own earnest free thought will throw on these, will make them so different from what they were when first passively received, that they will be virtually rediscovered by ourselves.

   It is the characteristic of Divine Truth that it is inexhaustible and infinitely fruitful. It does not stand alone in the mind, but combines with, explains, illuminates and broadens our other knowledge.

The very spirit of God's great moral truth is to touch the deep springs of thought within us, to awaken the soul to new activity, to start a throng of suggestions to be followed out by patient contemplation.

William Ellery Channing, abridged. 

 

  There are denominations and sects of Christianity that have cult like characteristics; they seek to control by fear or exclusivity; and they use the Bible as their authority but do not foster freedom or Christian liberty. 

One of the most common ways I've seen this, all my Christian life, is to try and control what you read. The Christian is told to beware of wolves in sheep's clothing and they have their exclusive list of "safe" books, as well as "safe" Preachers, Teachers, commentaries and churches. They discourage reading anything but the Bible, and their approved versions of the Bible.

But Christianity is not fear based, God will lead and guide us all the days of our lives, and we know the Master's voice, and the ways that lead to spiritual growth. Brethren, every time we have a deep conversation with another human; or when we hear a radio, podcast or any media presentation; when we listen to a sermon or read a commentary as well as a book, we are being influenced; and in truth, all interaction with other humans exposes us to their expressions of opinion and explanation, in short, their commentary on living. 

All interaction with others, regardless of the source, is in essence a commentary. But Jesus commands us, not only to engage with people, but go into all the world and engage others and their varying opinions. He not only demands that we talk with others, but as He invited His disciples after the resurrection to see and touch His wounds, He sends us to share our wounds with others, to talk "cheek to jowl", to engage the world in the deepest ways possible, close and personal. When Jesus revealed Himself He "breathed on His disciples", meaning; He was close, intimate, personal and vulnerable. So have no fear, Christ will not forsake you, He will not leave you as orphans, but rather, He will be a light for your path; He will guide your steps and will not let anyone pluck you from His hand. Each of us has His anointing within us, and that Holy Spirit will keep you safe and always directs you to the heart of Christ. 

              

    I understand the sentiments that we need more Bible preached from the pulpit today, but I also believe that the wisdom, insights, understanding, and power that we see in the New Testament church didn't end with the Apostles. Or to quote another -- "Moral greatness did not die out with the Apostles. Their lives were reported for this, among other things, that their virtues might be propagated to future times, and that men and women might spring up as worthy a place among the canonized as themselves."

  Christianity has produced men, and women, who walked in nearly the same anointing that the Apostles did, gallons of blood flowed from the martyrs, the gospel has been spread into the darkest parts of the world, revivals have swept towns and countries by the same power working through men long since the apostolic ages. To think, even for a second, that God stopped equipping men and women to lead, to give example, to inspire and to do world changing things is simply to not have read church history. Even today God is distributing his "Gifts" to edify and lift up the blood stained banner of Christ in ways that most of us can only dream of doing. The preachers today, most of which are but a husk of their predecessors, view the Bible from the light that was given from past power filled men of God that displayed the same anointing that the apostles did, they, and even we, have the ability by the Holy Spirit "to do even greater things." 

Of course we preach Bible first and foremost; but what Christian hears and understands all they heard??? None, that's why we have "teachers." So then, choose your "teachers" well, and few today, if any, come anywhere near those of the past.

 John McArthur is hailed as a great Bible teacher, but he is merely an echo of the Reformers of the 1,600s, the host of Puritans that shaped McArthur's thinking and permeate his sermons put him to shame. Same with John Piper, R.C. Sproul, shoot, all the revered preachers today grew up reading the Christian greats of yesteryear. Every one. 

 Will you let this massive tide of intellect, inspiration and wisdom fall further from the church they influenced. I would far rather hear a sermon from one of the greats of the past preached today instead of the shallow pablum we hear in nearly all churches today. Mercy, read the Bible, but also read, quote and emulate the great saints of all ages. Dip your finger into Thomas Brooks, Thomas Watson, Richard Sibbes, Jeremy Taylor, Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon, George Matheson, and the countless others that changed their world and influenced the church forever. 

  Forgive me for the rant, but much of the church today is a mile wide and an inch deep because they neglected the world changers of the past. God bless their sacrifice, spilled blood, tortured bodies, inspired minds, hours of dedication and holiness which few today hold a candle to.

You may object and say, "Just preach the Bible!" No preacher just recites or reads scripture, they expound scripture, they explain the meaning as they understand it; and that is as good, or as bad, as the man preaching it. God forbid that any of us would ever be spoon fed by one man's interpretation, as admirable as he may be.                   An uneducated laity does not glorify God. "A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles." Pr. 1 Again, I understand the sentiments, many pulpits today have drifted so far from the Bible they are not much more than a "Ted Talk".

 

  "The Scriptures are sufficient to inform the ignorant, to confute the erroneous, to reform the vicious, and to guide and direct, support and comfort those that are gracious. 

Here a lamb may wade, and an elephant may swim; here is milk for babes, and meat for strong men; here is comfort for the afflicted and succor for the tempted, and ease for the troubled and light for the clouded, and enlargement for the deprived. Oh, how full of light, how full of life, how full of love, how full of sweetness, how full of goodness, how full of righteousness and holiness is every chapter, and every verse in every chapter, yea, and every line in every verse!"   Thomas Brooks. 1600s.    

 Visits with a Magician

"I was invited to see a whispering-gallery of a most curious and uncommon structure. To make the experiment of its powers, a young poet of a very modest appearance, desired to repeat a verse in it. He applied his lips to the wall, and whispered in a low voice, "Rura mihi et virguis placeant in vallibus amnes." The sound ran along the walls for some time in a kind of low whisper; but every minute it grew louder and louder, till at length it was echoed and reechoed from every part of the gallery, and seemed to be pronounced by a multitude of voices at once, in different languages, till the whole dome was filled with the sound. There was a strong smell of incense. The gallery was constructed by Fame.

I saw another who was making a charm for two friends, one of whom was going to the East Indies: they were lamenting that when they were parted at so great a distance from each other they could no longer communicate their thoughts, but must be cut off from each other's society. Presenting them with a talisman inscribed with four-and- twenty black marks, "Take this' she said; "I have breathed a voice upon it: by means of this talisman you shall still converse, and hear one another as distinctly when half the globe is between you, as if you were talking together in the same room." The two friends thanked her for such an invaluable present, and retired. Her name was Abracadabra.  

  

 

 "If you're not reading literature that requires a dictionary, you're wading in the shallows. 

The times demand both significant engagement and escape. 

If one is going to attempt to ascend intellectual heights or engage the ills of the day, one must prepare for the type of atmosphere that can kill a lower regions breather. Its thin air the higher you go and it takes time to move up in one's pursuit of truth, light and meaningful understanding. Scramble too fast or beyond your capacity to process the content and you can get some mind nuttiness. 

To me a personal library should reflect feet rooted in the realities of the moment and wings that leave the ground for perspective. 

I find that I need the seers, the bards and the magicians to maintain an intellectual equilibrium. If I get around people who are only microscope & scalpel for too long, I find myself eviscerated on the deep levels of my soul. 

I find myself desperately in need of the poets the older I get in the intellectual life. Thinking is supposed to be a process of meaningful mastication and the art of poetry helps me digest more properly. 

In order for me to bring out words worth saying, I inhale stories, lines, songs, images, echoes from the past and voices in the present. 

I find that my mind is a tidal like reality, I place myself in the great inflow of waves and waves of content. It's often loud and disorienting as I brace myself to receive. 

But I also need the sand sucking outflow of silence and letting the unattached excess be pulled back into the abyss of my incomprehension. The healthy undertow for me can be many things...movies, tv, games, food, walks, nature, anything that pulls me away from the serious shores." Eric Blauer.

   I joined a new gym, and at 75yrs. old, I try and go five days a week to keep the motor running. One of the employees there, about 22, has been very cordial to me. I return the sentiments and I wanted to engage her with spiritual things so I began by typing out this little quote and giving it to her. I put her name in the place of "Burke." 

"Tell me, Burke, do you not feel a spirit stirring within you that longs to know, to do, and to dare; to hold converse with the great world of thought, and hold before you some high and noble object to which the vigor of your mind and the strength of your arm may be given? Do you not have longings like these, which you may not breathe to anyone, and which you feel must be heeded, or you will pass through life unsatisfied and regretful? I am sure you have them, and they will forever cling round your heart till you obey their mandate. They are the voices of that nature which God has given you, and which, when obeyed, will bless you and your fellow-men" 

I've had success using this quote, and it may be you will choose a different approach, but as long as we do something, something will happen. If we do nothing we can be certain of the results.... 

 Here's my interpretation of 2 Cor. 7:11

Brethren, as we carry the blood stained banner, graced with godly sorrow, let us be in earnest in righting wrongs, fueled by God's holy standards of righteous indignation, fearing the contamination of sin, longing to see people set free. Let us be filled with godly zeal in standing up for the oppressed, downcast and lost!

The NASB says it this way -- "For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong!

  I hesitated to post this picture, having lost family members to suicide, I know how triggering this could be for some. But I think it vividly illustrates the condition of too many Christians today. Christ  weeps over America, a land plagued with addiction, depression, wanton lusts, broken homes, streets lined with homeless and too many churches equipped with padded pews, basketball hoops and paid music leaders, while the lost lie outside the door. 

 The following quote says it in direct and potent terms. 

"The lazy, selfish man shrinks from the sight of Christ on His cross; for it rebukes his laziness and selfishness and he doesn't like suffering; he prefers comfort. 

Christ's Cross says to him -- Thou art ignoble and base, as long as thou art lazy and selfish. Rise up, do something, dare something, suffer something, if need be, for the sake of thy fellow creatures. 

Be of use. Take trouble. Face discomfort, contradiction, loss of worldly advantage, if it must be, for the sake of speaking truth and doing right." Rev. Kingsley.

 

 

 

  As a Christian we try to listen to what others aren't saying in conversation with them; it may serve as a portal to their soul.

  

 "Do not begin life fancying that such a fine young fellow as you are, one so spruce, so handsome, so well dressed, so accomplished in various ways, deserves a high place. Do not flatter yourself that life owes you more than it owes anybody else. It owes you, in common with all others, just as much fruit as, climbing, you can bring down. It owes you a 'chance to be something,' it will give you that and nothing more." Orison Swett Marden. 

 Cody Shugart wrote this about his son and former neighbor.

It’s just a simple story. That will make you smile. And we could all use a smile right now.

Here’s what Cody wrote:

Milton West was my childhood next door neighbor. I knew him as Mr. Chip. He retired from DOW chemical as an operator. He has always been there for me since I was two years old.

Growing up without a father was always difficult for me. But the good lord surrounded me with great men. Mr. Chip was one of them.

He constantly preached the value of an education, taught me how to take care of a yard, he taught me to see people for who they are not what they look like, he taught me how to treat my mother like a saint and many other life lessons. His contributions to me becoming a good son ,man and father were huge. I am forever grateful for God putting him in my life.

So this past May my wife and I had a little boy named Bob Wayne Shugart. When Mr. Chip and his wife Shirley saw him they fell in love with him. They babysit him sometimes and we go and visit when we can. The last time we were over there Mr. Chip said he wants to be called “POP”. He says that’s his grandson.

So we had to come up with a name for his wife. We decided on Lolli!!!! So we tell Bob Wayne we are going to see Lolli Pop!!! I’m grateful that Lolli and Pop will be apart of my sons life.

If he learns half the things from Mr . Chip as I did he will become a great son, man and father. Everyday I read something negative and how race relations are worse than ever. I disagree and I hope this is a positive loving message to many people.

This is just one story in little ol Victoria , Texas. I'm sure there are millions of similar stories across the United States.

—-Cody Shugart

  

Jesus spoke to me through a secular song and humbled me; He used that song to open my heart and that very night I picked up a Bible and began reading about Jesus. The Holy Spirit fell with such force I found Him irresistible, long before I knew what the Holy Spirit was! That experience taught me the truth of the following quote --

"In all churches individuals are better than their denomination, creed, or doctrines, and amidst gross error and indoctrination, which is often of a very narrow spirit, noble virtues spring up, and eminent Christians are formed. God always looks for a seeking spirit, and even in the midst of many errors, His truth will penetrate the heart. "

   

  I avoid Christians that are more about protest than purity; that lament the times and the season, but rather are out making love the reason; that have laid down the placards and ill manners and are carrying the blood stained banners! Folk that'll jump in the fray, till the battles won; or go down swinging after all's spent and done; for faith, friend and stranger duty bound; they don't give up till a solution's found. Charting a course away from sloth and apathies, agitating my heart with the highest sympathies. Folk with visions and goals, be they large or small; that'll work with ambition whether they rise or fall. I just want to be around folk that are doing things! For the good of man, whether paupers or kings. Veins filled with fire for the good and grand, to magnify Christ, in this sin laden land. 

 

 

  Pastor Eric spoke on Jesus building His church on the rubble and rocks of the gates of Hades. 

This was a unique moment in the training of the disciples of Jesus when He took them to Caesarea Philippi where the pagans had a “gate to the underworld” where they worshiped the god Pan. 

The temple of Pan, at the base of a sheer stone cliff, was located right in front of a huge cave called "The gates of hades", next to it was the temple of Zeus; this was a location of wicked idolatry, dark and dirty bestiality and sexual immorality, as well as a temple area soaked with blood from innumerable human sacrifices. 

This was the backdrop where Jesus proclaimed He would build His church, "upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hades shall not prevail against it."

  One can't help but wonder if the rock that all these pagan temples were built on was not what Jesus meant by declaring, "on this rock" meaning in the places of the greatest sin, deception and evil, He will build His church using broken men and women to do it?

 It grieves me that there are so many posts about controversial doctrinal issues. And what makes it worse is they are often presented as though the person sees themselves as an authority.

It reminds me of a quote by William Law, "You very well know, that I have an utter aversion to waste my time and thoughts in matters of Theological debate, as in any contentions merely of a worldly nature, knowing that most doctrinal debates are generally as much, if not more hurtful to the heart of man than the latter."

Of course William Law was known for reserving all his energy for expressing "The Spirit of Love" in a lost and hurting world. The fields are ripe and ready for harvest and yet we seem content to debate Theological issues that often bring division and strife when we live in a world that desperately needs Christians filled with love and action. Countless numbers suffer from homelessness and poverty, addiction and grievous evil, and yet we content ourselves arguing doctrine like a zealous Pharisee. And usually only one side of each doctrine is presented; how can that be? If Christ reigns in the heart, we will walk as He did, and not entangle ourselves in 2,000-year-old debates that bear little, if any, fruit. Gaining a theological education from Christian online sites flies in the face of all the great scholars that answered these questions a thousand years ago.

 

  

  Sometimes even Angles are not enough and God sends His animals to fill the gap when we need someone that loves and asks nothing in return. Even Jesus in the wilderness was accompanied, not only by Angels, but also animals to comfort Him.  

 

Goals for my children

 "To be raised in a family with a committed marriage, with planning, purpose, love and welcome. 

Where the pregnancy is in an environment of rest, safety and attentiveness. 

Where the children are born in the house of parents and among a family postured to surround, support and serve. 

Born in the country, with its sounds, smells and sights. 

Children fed from mother's milk, and fruits and vegetables from the families garden and fields. 

Hand made toys, playing among the diversity of nature's multi-layered world of wonder. 

Teaching them to form their own thoughts through timeless truths and traditions passed on through a web of multi-generational relationships that teach them not only what to think, but more importantly, how to think? 

Teaching children to be confident to explore, wonder-driven, peering into natural mysteries, excited about the world, strong in faith, values and direction. 

May we give the best for our children and be led by a grand vision for our families and homes and create spaces of love, truth and tradition that honors the past, is helpful in the present and prepares our children for whatever the future has in store. 

Be purposeful, be peacefully driven and delightfully determined to carve out the best life you can that is the most beautiful, good and true for those you love. 

God has called us to walk in trust, faith and courage and to instill His values in our children." Pastor Eric. 

Abortion

   One of the sisters shared this moving piece; she walks the walk, and speaks what I think is the closest thing to the mind of Christ about unwanted pregnancies I've ever read. 

  "With all the posts on abortion & pro-life, someone asked me my thoughts....I have been pro-life since the age of 10 when I watched a film on the abortion industry. I spent 20+ yrs working in a pro-life pregnancy center counseling with women. Here are my thoughts..... I was that 17 yr old who found herself pregnant & terrified, not knowing what to do. I prayed for forgiveness & guidance. The decision was taken from me when at 3 1/2 months my body rejected the pregnancy & I sat on my bed holding my perfectly formed baby asking God "why?"... I have counseled a young mother of 2 trying figure out how she will support yet another mouth to feed.... I have been on the other end of the phone when a woman is screaming "Oh God! Oh God! what have I done" when she had taken the abortion pill & was told that she would just have a heavy period, only to see the product of her abortion in the toilet....I have been in the delivery room with a young mother all alone & deserted by her family because she chose life & seen the tears of pure joy as her baby is placed on her chest for the first time...I have spoken with a young woman intent on having an abortion & have her walk out , only to feel extreme happiness when years later she introduces me to her son...I have sat with a 60 yr old woman who with the birth of her grandchild begins to grieve the baby she aborted in college...I have stood in the hospital with two precious young women as they hand me their child with tears in their eyes and a breaking heart & tell me "you are my child's Mother"...I know the pain of never holding my first grandchild... I have gone to the hospital & brought home a small 3 lb baby, the nurses telling me she wont live,  watching her body twist & convulse as she is going through drug withdrawals. Having people say"why didn't they just let her die, it would have been merciful!" to seeing her play basketball &  be on the Homecoming court! 

I have taken a beautiful baby into my home and cared for him 24/7 only to bury him months later, everyone saying it would have been better if his mother had aborted him! His life as well as all lives have meaning & a purpose. He taught me and my children compassion & unconditional love. I Hear people saying "there"s a special place in Hell for these women who choose abortion". Oh, how I pray not!!! No matter how a woman talks about abortion or praises the fact that she has a choice, when she is alone and quiet, she grieves....Yes, I hate all abortion, but I cannot hate the women who have made this choice. I cannot judge them, My Father forgives them.... I pray that God will bless them & give them peace in their hearts with the knowledge that even though they made a decision to end a pregnancy, they are forgiven & their children are in Heaven with our beloved Father! If you must hate & protest..Change the laws that allow this, vote out the people who support it!   Scream at the top of your lungs "This is wrong & we will no longer accept it"! And then, STEP UP!  Help a struggling family  with many mouths to feed, Give a young mother a hug & thank her for choosing life, Adopt, offer to help co-parent with a single mom ,JUST REACH OUT!!!! But don't hate the women who suffer, show them love & compassion, keep them covered  in prayer!"

 Helen Keller wrote the following letter to the New York Symphony Orchestra in March 1924.  Here's how she describes listening to Beethoven's "Ninth Symphony" over the radio:

“Dear Friends:

 I have the joy of being able to tell you that, though deaf and blind, I spent a glorious hour last night listening over the radio to Beethoven’s “Ninth Symphony.” I do not mean to say that I “heard” the music in the sense that other people heard it; and I do not know whether I can make you understand how it was possible for me to derive pleasure from the symphony. It was a great surprise to myself. I had been reading in my magazine for the blind of the happiness that the radio was bringing to the sightless everywhere. I was delighted to know that the blind had gained a new source of enjoyment; but I did not dream that I could have any part in their joy. Last night, when the family was listening to your wonderful rendering of the immortal symphony someone suggested that I put my hand on the receiver and see if I could get any of the vibrations. He unscrewed the cap, and I lightly touched the sensitive diaphragm. What was my amazement to discover that I could feel, not only the vibration, but also the impassioned rhythm, the throb and the urge of the music! The intertwined and intermingling vibrations from different instruments enchanted me. I could actually distinguish the cornets, the roll of the drums, deep-toned violas and violins singing in exquisite unison. How the lovely speech of the violins flowed and plowed over the deepest tones of the other instruments!  When the human voices leaped up thrilling from the surge of harmony, I recognized them instantly as voices more ecstatic, upcurving swift and flame-like, until my heart almost stood still. The women’s voices seemed an embodiment of all the angelic voices rushing in a harmonious flood of beautiful and inspiring sound. The great chorus throbbed against my fingers with poignant pause and flow. Then all the instruments and voices together burst forth – an ocean of heavenly vibration – and died away like winds when the atom is spent, ending in a delicate shower of sweet notes.

 Of course this was not “hearing,” but I do know that the tones and harmonies conveyed to me moods of great beauty and majesty. I also sense, or thought I did, the tender sounds of nature that sing into my hand-swaying reeds and winds and the murmur of streams. I have never been so enraptured before by a multitude of tone-vibrations.

 As I listened, with darkness and melody, shadow and sound filling all the room, I could not help remembering that the great composer who poured forth such a flood of sweetness into the world was deaf like myself. I marveled at the power of his quenchless spirit by which out of his pain he wrought such joy for others – and there I sat, feeling with my hand the magnificent symphony which broke like a sea upon the silent shores of his soul and mine.” The Auricle, Vol. II, No. 6, March 1924. Copyright of the American Foundation for the Blind, Helen Keller Archives www.afb.org

  "Listen to me young lady sitting next to me on the bus; listen to me fellow co-workers on the job; listen to me strangers that I meet during the daily business of living; listen to me friends, when I talk with you there will be no crooked or perverted ambitions, no innuendos or secret agendas. When I speak it will be of noble things, I will speak the truth and it will be straightforward and you can trust it will be right." Proverbs 8:6-9   

 

I join some sites that are non-Christian or a mix of beliefs to try and add a Christian influence. I definitely notice a growing interest in Polyamorous relationships. I saw these two memes this week. As a Christian I don't think for a minute that adding another to your marriage will do anything but cause great harm, unlike the suggestion in the one meme. Now I can rage at the darkness and voice disgust and repulsion, but when it comes down to it, the question is, what am I doing to stem the tide of evil? The photo of the hand with a black ring on it is a subtle way of letting others they are open to "swinging." That was new for me. I had to Google it when I heard about it. If Light was ever needed, it's needed now!

  "He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap." Ecc. 11:4

  I chat with many today that have a passive defeatism because the winds in our culture are blowing strongly towards evil, and the clouds of sin seem darker with each morn. I hear them lament, "It's the sign of the times! The End is near and the times are perilous! No one has ears to hear anymore!"

 But Solomon exhorts us to keep sowing in tears and love! He rebukes that passive spirit with these words -- 

  "Sow your seed in the morning, and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good." Ecc. 11:6

 

  "Through indolence the rafters sag, and through slackness the house leaks." Ecc. 10:18

  I read that verse this morning and was so convicted. I remember a time, when entering the church, I went early to get a full pew so there would be enough room for the people I invited and had been mentoring. One would hope every church would slowly outgrow the building, or sister churches would spin off because the members were missionally minded. 

 

  When I saw this picture it brought a number of things to mind. I think my first thought was how young love is so all consuming the whole world could be on fire and you wouldn't even notice. It reminds me of what an 18 year old said about her first infatuation --

"This guy. This romance. These feelings..... Oh my word! They can be good, sad at times, overwhelming, challenging, time consuming, miserable, can make one insecure, make me feel older than I am at times, make me feel stupid, happy, exciting, exhilarating, peaceful, paining, questioning and sooooooooo much more! This is my first ever real relationship and it at times can be so much and other times feeling so aaaaaaaaaaaaah - small." 

 

  "In everything I did I showed you that by hard work we must help the weak...." Acts 20:35

 When I read this today what first struck me was the word "MUST." I'm not sure, but I can't think of that many times when we are told we MUST do something. So I looked up the two key words, "Help" and "Weak", so I had a perfectly clear understanding. 

"Help" - Aid, protect, relieve, interest oneself in.

"Weak" - Sick, distressed by want, oppression, calamity; weak in faith and opinion; those whose minds are easily disturbed.

 Just like Christ and Paul, we are to be personally involved with those in need; by this, they are relieved and we grow our sympathies and love. What a wonderful design within the kingdom of God! 

 "You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:34-35

   

  "God gave us part of our reward in hand now that He might enable us to work for more. He gives eternal gifts for temporal services, and gives us whatsoever we want for asking, and commands us to ask, and threatens us if we will not ask, and punishes us for refusing to ask. 

  He comforts the poor, and He brings down the rich, that they may be safe in their humility and sorrow. His mercy is His glory, and His glory is the light of heaven. He is 'ready to forgive'. We have but a small opinion of the divine mercy if we dare not believe concerning it that it is desirous, and able, and watchful, and passionate, to keep us or rescue us. 

He preserves those that endeavor to obey, though they do it but in weakness; that weep truly for their sins, though but with a small shower no bigger than the drops of pity; and those that wait for His coming with a holy and pure flame, though their lamps are no brighter than a poor mans candle, though their strengths are no greater than a contrite reed or a strained arm, and their fires have no more warmth than the smoke of kindling flax. 

If our faith is pure, and our love unfeigned; if the degree of it be great, God will accept it into glory, but if it is little, He will accept it into grace and make it bigger." Jeremy Taylor.  

  "It may be said with perfect truth that the measure of a man is, not what he can do, but what he believes in. In every case the spiritual belief of a man outruns his actual capacity. 

  We often point with sadness to the amount of hypocrisy that exists in the world. We hear men in their books and conversation speaking about the most spiritual and edifying sentiments, but when we meet them face to face we experience a shock of contradiction. 

Yet there is no reason to suppose that the contradiction has it's root in hypocrisy. In a large amount of cases it would be more correct to say that these people are "justified by faith." They have the sight of an ideal; they see before them an image of what they would like to be. They have faith in it, that is to say, they believe it to be the only object worth following, and the only object which it will reward them to follow. They have sight of the ideal, but their foot-steps lag behind their sight. 

It springs from the fact that the nature of man does not advance simultaneously to perfection, that there are powers of the human soul which seem to outrun the others and arrive more quickly at their destined goal. It arises from that law of moral growth by which, while it is yet winter in the world of action, the aspirations are bursting into the buds of spring, and while the limbs are yet paralyzed with cold the heart is made aware that the time for the singing of birds is come.  

We may consider it certain that the imitative acts of the child are of less value than the principle of imitation which prompted them." 

George Matheson.  

  I asked a friend of mine, Ann Stewart Porter, in her sixties, who is a survivor of rape; three to be exact, if she would write her story of healing so I could share it with others. And all of these perpetrators were within the church. How do we ever go back to church after that?  Here's her story ---  

  "First it was a church youth leader, a man in his 30’s and me, all of fifteen. He talked dirty and I didn’t understand. 

Then it was our church organist’s brother, but I kicked him where it hurts, and threw his shoe on the roof, and escaped. But then it was a Deacon’s son, who asked to counsel with me, but took me to the dark countryside after Sunday night church, to rape me. To this day, I don’t do cars alone with men.

Then it was a Preacher’s son who lived nearby. He was so nice to pick me up from work, and then drive me to an apartment with my drunk manager, and they did what they wanted to do. I don’t even remember how I got home.

Then I went to a Christian College. My boss raped me. I had been his children’s babysitter. His wife said he’d done it before. He came up to me as I was vacuuming the President’s office. To this day, I don’t have a vacuum cleaner.

I changed schools and met this incredible human being who I ended up marrying, but never told him I had been raped, not once but three times. But he figured it out one day, and we really did get great counsel. God did an incredible work of healing me, mind and spirit.

The sexual abuse was compounded by emotional abuse of people who didn’t understand. Or didn’t want to know. This was 45 years ago, so it was always the girl’s fault. This was the church where men were allowed to control a woman. Abuse is still rampant in and out of the church. Abuse is still rampant in Christian homes. Rape and incest are still alive and harming girls and boys every single day.

I took my anger out on God and begged to understand. At 16, I stood behind our church and wailed on God. It was quiet. But… One day I was listening to a dear friend of mine, a gifted worship leader who had, for the second time, been fired from a church. His teen daughter was so furious. But he was quick to remind her people aren’t God. People can be really stupid and make absurd choices, even in the name of God. But that doesn’t mean God has to take responsibility for their free will or their choice to sin. We let go of the people, not God. In a remarkable turn of events, I was able to be very sexually compatible with my husband, although he learned quickly, he couldn’t lovingly hold me down, or scare me unexpectedly. God faithfully gave us a passion few I know have in their marriage. We are very emotionally connected as well. Have been for over 45 years. I became a Teacher, Counselor, Writer, and rape recovery is one of the things I do, because it’s important. Many people suffer at the hands of so called godly people, and it’s not always easy to separate the two at all. But at some point, you either choose love or you choose pain. You let go and you let in. You give or you take. You rise or you fall. You win or you lose. You get better or you get bitter. You cannot store hate inside a heart of love. You cannot. You can think you do, but the joke is on you. God didn’t design our hearts to carry what people do to us in their pain. He designed us to forgive, live in genuine freedom, choose joy and help another who might feel trapped in the grief of it all. I chose what I wanted because it’s good for me. I needed the strength to overcome more things that would come my way. I didn’t want anybody who had harmed me, to hold power over me, to keep me from being healthy and wise and happy.

My Mama used to say people expect God's people to be good and the church to do right, but if you were the Devil, where would you go first? The Church. So, I decided as hard as it was to forgive and grow up, it’s harder still to not forgive and live in pain. I love that I could and did choose my healing. I love that God uses me despite all. I love that I choose love over all, because I found God was faithful and His peace remains a gift I find joy in over and over. I went on to lose 4 of my five children and to face even more pain, but I found out because my strength has roots down deep in God, I can withstand and be there for others. It’s become a gloriously satisfying life. And my perpetrators will not experience that, choosing their pain. But I have loved learning hope springs eternal in the Eternal One. There are two roads that do diverge, and yep, I took the one less traveled, and that makes all the difference. I hope it makes a difference for you."

Ann Stewart Porter

I've been just itching to share this picture! This little girl goes out with her parents and friends to minister to the homeless and oppressed in their city. Now set aside for a minute the wonderful example of true Christian child training, and what a tender heart this little gal has, and just imagine how the Holy Spirit will come with rushing power on this fella being prayed for by a child!!!!!!! 

 I'll never forget a simple conversation I had with a ten year old girl years ago! And I was just listening to her talk about life and her precocious views about a host of things. Now to imagine myself at my bottom and having a bright and loving child show love to me......... world changing!!!!!

 Congratulations Malala, may you have many years of world changing!!!!!!

 

   
"When a man said, I believe in Christ, he really said, and meant to say, I believe in the beauty of goodness, in the desirableness of purity, in the right of righteousness to be ultimately triumphant. He declared that Christ was his ideal of perfection, that to that ideal he was in thought at least, loyal and true, and that he longed for the time to come when the actions of his life would be conformable to the thought of his soul." George Matheson. 

 

  God's grace and divine mercy will often hinder us from pursuing our lusts. Here Jeremy Taylor explains all the little subtle ways He may do that. 

  "When a man's desires are winged with sails and a lusty wind of passion, and pass on into a smooth channel of opportunity, God oftentimes hinders the lust and the impatient desire from passing on to its port and entering into action, by a sudden thought, or by a little remembrance of a word, or by a fancy, or by a sudden disability, by unreasonable and unlikely fears, by the sudden intervention of company, or by the very weariness of the passion, or by curiosity, by lack of health, by the too great violence of the desire, bursting itself with its fullness into dissolution and a remiss or easiness, or by a sentence of scripture, by the reverence of a good man, or else by the proper interventions of the Spirit of grace, chastising the crime, and representing its appendant mischiefs and its constituent disorder and irregularity; and after all this the very anguish and trouble of being defeated in the purpose hath rolled itself into so much uneasiness and unquiet reflections that the man is grown ashamed, and vexed into more sober counsels." 

  In the preceding verses he explained this by way of an illustration using the flame on a coal reaching out for tinder, but hindered by many things ---

 "For so I have seen a busy flame sitting upon a sullen coal, turn its point to all the angles and portions of its neighborhood, and reach at a heap of prepared straw, which like a bold temptation called it to a restless motion and activity; but either it was at too big a distance, or a gentle breath from haven diverted the sphere and the ray of the fire to the other side, and so prevented the violence of the burning; till the flame expired in a weak consumption, and died, turning into smoke and the coolness of death, and the harmlessness of a cinder."