Friday, August 08, 2008

“One of the most common forms of perverseness, though one of the most subtle and least known, is that shown by people who study to shut everybody out from a knowledge of their nature and their life. They make it their grand end and aim to appear to be exactly what they are not, to appear to believe exactly what they do not believe, and to appear to feel what they do not feel at all. This is not because they are ashamed of themselves, or because they really have any thing to conceal. They have simply taken on this form of perverseness. They will not, if they can help it, allow any man to get inside of their natures and characters. If they write you a letter, they will mislead you. They will say to you irreverent and shocking things, to prove to you that they are bold, and unfeeling, and unthoughtful, when they tremble at what they have written, and really show by their language that they are afraid, and full of feeling, and very thoughtful. If they have a sentiment of love for anybody, they take it as a dog would a bone, and go and dig a hole in the ground and bury it, only resorting to it in the dark, for private craunching. Very likely they will try to make you believe that they live a most dainty and delicate life – that the animals of the field, and the fowls of the air love them, and come at their call – that the clouds arrange themselves in heaven for their benefit, and are sufficiently paid for the effort by their admiration – that flowers excite them to frenzy – a very fine frenzy, indeed – and that all sounds shape themselves to music in their souls. They would have you think that they live a kind of charmed life- that the sun woos them, and the moon pines for them, and the sea sobs because they will not come, and the daisies wait lovingly for their feet, yet, if you knew the truth, you would see that they sit discontentedly among the homeliest surroundings of domestic life, with their sleeves rolled up --- confound them!
Photo from Internet


Mel said...

So, Fred, what words of wisdom would you share with a faker such as this? How does a faker become a person of authenticity?

Anonymous said...

I see myself there, and others. I think we all do this, it's how we protect ourselves, partly because we are not living as fully as we should and we know it. But also we have seen the world and those in it tear each other apart. We need protection and our subconscious knows it. For me there are times I do this intentionally but I'm sure there are times it happens without me knowing. I try to be real to people and I make a point of calling spades, spades. But I think if we leave ourselves open to much we risk being victims... and then there is advice for that too. For me I want to be authentic and if we prove each other friends, you can count on me. But if you are a shit, well I might have to dodge. Love, Matt.

FCB said...

Hmmm, I'm not sure I am so different from the person he describes, but as I learn of myself and others, and realize that we all are so much alike; we struggle with similar things, battle the same temptations and recognizing failure as a natural course of the Christian life that God uses to humble us and teach us to cling to Him the more tightly.
I think it is a natural tendency to hide the darker sides of our nature for fear of rejection from others. But we are but dust and as we grow in Christ our expectations of others become more in line with reality.
So, we love, not because someone has attained or lives a “charmed life”, but because of who people are, because God has planted rich nuggets of personality in each of His creatures, and regardless of where they are in their journey of faith, we embrace who they will become.

I like this quote from Jeremy Taylor --

“ Friendship is the allay of our sorrows, the ease of our passions, the discharge of our oppression, the sanctuary to our calamities, the counselor of our doubts, the clarity of our minds, the emission of our thoughts, the exercise and improvement of what we meditate”…..

These benefits of friendship are reaped as we become more honest in revealing ourselves; so as we age and tire of shallow relationships, we find it easier to reveal who we truly are and find that we benefit the more for it. Not a wholesale reveal, but to individual friends; always cautious to present as much as we are able and is prudent; faithful to honesty in what we do share.

That’s my first blush to a very big question. You make me think Mel, and I always look forward to your posts.
God bless,